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SFPD Officer Arrested For Insurance Fraud

Updated: Jun 29, 2022 15:33
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The City of San Francisco Calif. Police Department logo. seal (Photo courtesy San Francisco Police Department)

EDITOR’S NOTE: THIS STORY WAS BASED OFF OF A PIECE WRITTEN BY IAN FIRSTENBERG ENTITLED “SFPD Officer arrested on multiple charges of insurance fraud has a messy history.” You were supposed to read his article, but I fucked up. lol

I’ve always said the best and most annoying criminals are police officers. The recent news of 15 year SFPD veteran, Adam Eatia, getting charged with 2 courts of insurance fraud and grand theft is unfortunately typical and won’t help the department’s already frayed relationship with San Franciscans.

According to reports, an Internal Affairs investigation into Adam Eatia’s conduct revealed that Eatia got into some sort of car accident and coerced the driver into paying him for the damage.  This man of valor then decided to protect and serve an insurance company by making a false claim and somehow “impersonated a sergeant” on the insurance form. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds shitty.

The investigation into Adam Eatia’s incredible service on the job goes as far back as August 2019. That’s a long time ago. I was thin and COVID-19 didn’t exist when this investigation started. I’m now fat and COVID-19 exists. We just kind of pretend it doesn’t or something.

And then there’s the fucking GoFundMe. It’s titled “Helping Adam get through a rough patch.” The “rough patch” is getting caught for insurance fraud. 

While under investigation, Eatia was assigned to a non-public facing role.

The story gets weirder. The car in question is a $30,000 Ford Mustang. The car was at least partially purchased and fully insured by an unnamed officer. Adam Eatia was not listed as the driver of the vehicle. Due to the fact Adam Eatia wasn’t on the insurance is likely why he made the person he crashed into pay the cost and then tried to double up.

And then there’s the fucking GoFundMe. It’s titled “Helping Adam get through a rough patch.” The “rough patch” is getting caught for insurance fraud.

I find this story somewhat funny because guess who’s prosecuting the case? Chesa Boudin.

But it gets even fraudier. The GoFundMe states that Adam needed money because he was out of sick pay as a result of a work related injury. It then states he may be fired because he refused to get a COVID-19 vaccine. Because, you know, the best way to protect and serve is to be a potential plague rat. So which was it? Probably neither. It was probably the insurance fraud.

Strangely, the GoFundMe does not mention that Adam got his gun taken away from him and was not directly interacting with the public.

I find this story somewhat funny because guess who’s prosecuting the case? Chesa Boudin. For a long time police misconduct has been swept under the rug. Chesa fresh off his recall will still be able to prosecute Adam Eatia to the full extent of the law. Which probably pisses the cops the off.

Because if it was up the police union, the only criminals in San Francisco would be the police department and the politicians that empower them.

I’m just kidding. SFPD is the best. The politicians in the City are great too. Everything is fine. Yay!

🙂

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Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff is a San Francisco-based writer, editor and digital content creator known for Bay Area Memes, a local meme page that has amassed nearly 200k followers. His work has appeared in SFGATE, The Bold Italic and of course, BrokeAssStuart.com. His book of short stories, personal essays and poetry entitled Don't Drown on Dry Ground will be available early 2022.

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