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This SF Lingerie Expert Gave us a Step-by-Step Self Love Guide

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I know I’m not alone when I say that I loathe Valentine’s Day.
I’m just not fond of the idea that for this one pink and fluffy day we must prove our love to another.

Serene Martinez, CEO and founder of Pink Bunny in San Francisco helps me understand other alternatives to a hallmark holiday this Valentine’s Day. You see, Pink Bunny is a beautifully curated online boutique that specializes in lingerie for all body types as well as adult toys. I decided that there would be no better place to ask some questions on how might I honor the holiday in a new way than to turn to a person who is an expert in self love. Serene had a lot to say about the importance of self love and care.

The True Origins of Valentine’s Day

I’d like to start by first acknowledging one truth that we all should know. We’ve been lied to about Valentine’s Day. It’s not about stuffed animals and chocolates. In truth, Valentine’s Day is based on the mid-February fertility festival called Lupercalia. It was dedicated to the Roman god of agriculture, Faunas as well as the Roman founders Romulous and Remus (you know, those guys raised by wolves?).

It was an extremely debauched event that apparently involved Roman priests running naked through the streets and spanking each other with strips of hide cut from the skin sacrificed animals. This was believed to promote fertility and the return of life. These origins don’t really match the wall of teddy bears and mylar balloons that are about to descend on us. How does this all boil down to the pressure to love another and could we, instead, find time to love ourselves a little more?

Now that you know the truth, let’s learn more about how might we celebrate the day in new ways from Serene.
Ways that honor ourselves first and foremost.

Serene Martinez owner of Pink Bunny by Vita Hewitt

Tell us about your store, Pink Bunny. How did it start and what is it’s mission?

I’m a woman minority owned business and have been in the industry for 20 years. I am very careful to make sure that all of the toys we carry are the healthiest products on the market. There are no FDA regulations, adult toys can be made from mystery plastics with chemical off gassing. I don’t carry any products like that. The lingerie that we carry is body positive and human positive so it doesn’t matter how you identify. We love you and support you.

@barbielove707 photographed for @pinkbunnysf by Vita Hewitt

Our mission is to bring joy and connection to humans. I couldn’t do my job well if I didn’t really believe that we are all beautiful and it breaks my heart to see the toxic marketing that we have for each other. We buy into and it makes me really sad to see the things that we show to our children. We think it’s normal to say things like “I’m so fat” or “I can never find lingerie that fits me”.

All these things we say about ourselves that we would never say about our good friends, it’s just heartbreaking. One of the most moving things is when people are in my dressing room trying on lingerie and they say kind things about themselves.

@trini.leu photographed for @pinkbunnysf by Vita Hewitt

Do you have suggestions for people looking to buy lingerie?

Lingerie is not going MAKE anybody beautiful. Lingerie is to celebrate the beauty that each of us already have. It’s like make up or hairstyles for your body. Often, lingerie can help us feel more confident in the bedroom. If we’re feeling like we want to minimize things or if you want to accentuate things, lingerie can do a a lot.

Body stockings are some of my favorites for lazy lingerie. They’re super hot. Just think of it like pantyhose for your whole body. It’s great if you want to show things off, but you’re still a little bit self-conscious. Make sure to get the right pattern for your shape. They’re just super fun because they come in all different shapes and sizes and can show off different areas of your body.

Photographed for @pinkbunnysf at @thehappydahliafarm by Vita Hewitt

You talk a lot about self love and self care through your work for Pink Bunny.
Can you take us through a good example of what a date with yourself would look like?

Self-care looks like whatever rejuvenates you and makes you feel happy. If that’s a walk, then it’s a walk. It might be a spa day. It’s a treating yourself to a fancy dinner. Self-care is making sure you are filling your own tank so you can be there others when you’re feeling good.

@barbielove707 photographed for @pinkbunnysf by Vita Hewitt

Not everybody is raised with a supportive environment where their bodies are concerned. There’s a lot of shame involved and embarrassment and being uncomfortable with not knowing what the body does. That can lead to stress and get in the way of pleasure and orgasms. Sometimes we’re so focused on the end goal that we forget to enjoy the journey and that really is stressful for a lot of people. It doesn’t have to be an orgasm.

It can be touching your body and exploring your body, but it could also be sitting in the sun and enjoying the moment, being present, and being mindful. These things can help you to relax more. This helps things to become less frightening so when you are by yourself or with a partner, it’s less stressful to try and have the orgasm because you’re just enjoying that moment and then there’s less stress and cortisol in your body.

photographed for @pinkbunnysf by Vita Hewitt

Pink Bunny’s 5 Tips for Self Exploration:

1. Lock the door – it should go without saying, but how many times have people walked in on someone else’s me-time. Take a second, lock the door, and take your time. 

2. Lube – lubricant isn’t just great for couples. It work wonders at reducing friction and adding cushioning for solo sessions as well. Make sure your lube is safe for your nether regions. A high quality sex lubricant is a far safer bet than sourcing something slippery from around the house, which may cause irritation.

3. Toys – if you don’t have any intimate toys Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to go out and get some! There are thousands of fantastic, weird and wonderful products to choose from. Have fun scrolling though a myriad of colors, shapes, and sizes to find your new friend. Not sure what to buy? Go for a good old fashioned vibrator. The standard vibrator gives maximum versatility so you can discover what works best for you.

A standard vibe can be used externally for the clitoris, vulva, and even penis and testicles. It can also be used internally for g-spot attention. It your toy has a rabbit style clitoral arm, flared base, or some other way to stop it from getting lost, it can be used for the bottom as well. Never put something in the bottom that does not have a flared base or other means to prevent loss. You don’t want your me time turning into an awkward date with an emergency room nurse.

4. Time – Give yourself more than five minutes. You deserve quality time with you! Have we forgotten how much fun foreplay can be? It’s easy to forget about slow sex in our fast paced world. Just remember, slower, longer build up can lead to more intense orgasms.

5. Take a break from porn – When we masturbate with porn we are responding to the media. When we masturbate sans porn we are focusing on and responding to ourselves. It’s a great time to reconnect with yourself.

Photographed for @pinkbunnysf by Vita Hewitt

Learn more about Pink Bunny online here:



@genesis_torio photographed for @pinkbunnysf

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Vita Hewitt

Vita Hewitt

Vita is a half Chinese-Malaysian, photograph taking, plant foraging, vegetable garden growing, astronaut impersonating, conceptual art creating Bay Area human. She loves exploring the intricacies of the Bay Area Art Scene.