How to Politely (and Safely) Piss Off Your Conservative Neighbors During Pride Month

Image courtesy of iStock.

It’s hard out there to be queer, even in havens like San Francisco, Ann Arbor, Ft. Lauderdale (yes, Florida), or NYC, you’re always going to find anti-LGBTQ+ “humans” and sentiments. But don’t let that stop you from celebrating you and yours. Some of us understand and love that the first Pride started as a riot and some of us also understand that, at the time of this article, the Human Rights Campaign has declared a national state of emergency for LGBTQ+ Americans. So here are some ways to stay safe and, slightly piss off, your conservative neighbors:

Flags and Lawn/Yard Signs

This also works for windows, doors, and balconies. Not only are they a simple display of pride or solidarity, but both are also forms of communication protected by the U.S. Supreme Court and most municipalities (thank goodness for video doorbells and ally neighbors too, just in case someone tries to steal your message). Remember when that Proud Boys leader got 5-months in jail for stealing and burning a BLM flag?

Image provided by a Safe @ Macomb LGBT presentation.

Bump that Pride playlist

There are SO MANY artists that are in the LGBTQIA+ community that many (inside and outside of the community) aren’t aware of, and that list keeps growing. So make your own or find a “classics” playlist via your fav streaming platform.

Double down on that with what you wear

A Judas Priest T-shirt? Rob Halford is metal and gay AF! Ride a Jason Ellis skateboard (pro boarder for 20+ years and podcast/entertainment personality who is bisexual). Slap on a Dolly Parton bumper sticker – she’s outright been one of the biggest allies for decades!  Make it fash with a Ryan Russell crop-top jersey. Rep a whole damn team and dawn an OL Reign FC “Protect Trans Kids” shirt!

Carl Nassib is the NFL’s first openly gay star and you can get this jersey right here.

Give them treats

Find out what treats they like and bake them rainbow cookies or buy them from a queer-owned bakery or coffee roaster (if you have the disposable funds, there’s a 50/50 chance they’ll be eaten or thrown out).

Credit: Baked In Color customer review.

Credit: Author. (Uncommon Coffee Roasters can be bought online here.

Do it with comedy

Whether it’s talking about the latest Judy Gold special and having a watch party, asking them if they like horror movies such as Seed of Chucky, or buying a “Be gay. Do crime. Go to The General and save some time.” t-shirt from Meth Syndicate.

Queer comedian Judy Gold at a recent visit to the White House. Photo from her Twitter

Reverse psychology is always fun

No one wants to be made out as a hypocrite. Imagine their heads exploding when they try to think of a rebuttal for the rainbow “Love Thy Neighbor” door hanger. A partner to this technique is to confuse them with kindness – invite them over to chat or to the local pride gathering.

Credit: Creative Commons.

This goes for allies too

If you consider yourself a non-performative ally, then show up and show out. Toss up your own ally lawn flag or buy a sticker that says, “Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem!” and carry it with you when you walk your dog, put it in plain sight when working in the garden or set it in the window facing theirs.

Credit: Reddit/Redbubble

Speaking of walking the dog

Get your creature children in on the Pride fun with a cute bandana, collar, or shirt! Who could be mad at a cat, dog, or bearded lizard?

Credit: Author

Make them question themselves with how hot you are!

Short shorts go a long way no matter who is wearing them or looking at them!

Quick and not-so-dirty other ways to help your closeted and confused conservative neighbor

* Make a donation in their name (if you know it – or at least you know their address) – $6.66 to the ACLU or GLAAD if you’re ballin’ on a budget or $69 to the HRC or PFLAG if you got that LGBTQ lettuce.

* Educate them! You don’t even have to speak to them for this one. Again, you might know their address – pamphlets and zines are usually free to send from an organization!

Listen, we’re here, we’re queer and we’re not going anywhere – neither are the conservatives and misinformed. It’s our choice to coexist and hopefully, we’ll have more control over our choice to exist. In a perfect world, there will be more of us than them, or at least they’ll become more educated. In the meantime, take some ideas from the listicle above or find fun, and non-threatening ways, to celebrate your PRIDE year-round.

For more content like this or just to give back to those who need and deserve it; support us on Patreon, donate to many LGBTQ-protecting organizations, and tip your favorite queer writer.

It me.

It my house.