I Asked ChatGPT What San Franciscans Should Do For The 4th Of July

For whatever reason, the last article that I did where I asked ChatGPT some shit about San Francisco did pretty well. I don’t know why, but people seem to be interested in what our robot overlords think.

So, due to curiosity, and not at all laziness, I’ve asked ChatGPT to tell me what I should do this 4th of July in San Francisco.

Here’s what it said:

“For the Fourth of July in San Francisco, there are several activities and events you can consider. Here are some suggestions:

1. Watch the Fireworks: The fireworks display in San Francisco is usually held at the waterfront near Pier 39. You can find a spot along the Embarcadero or head to Fisherman’s Wharf to enjoy the spectacular fireworks show.

2. Attend a Parade: Look for Independence Day parades happening in San Francisco. One popular parade is the Fourth of July Waterfront Festival Parade, which typically takes place along the Embarcadero.

3. Explore Golden Gate Park: Enjoy a day in Golden Gate Park, where you can have a picnic, visit the various gardens, or rent a paddleboat on Stow Lake. The park offers a serene environment to relax and celebrate.

4. Visit Crissy Field: Crissy Field, located near the Golden Gate Bridge, is a great spot for a barbecue or picnic. You can bring your own food or use one of the public grills available. It also offers beautiful views of the bay and the bridge.

5. Take a Bay Cruise: Consider taking a boat cruise around the San Francisco Bay. There are various companies that offer special Fourth of July cruises with dinner, drinks, and stunning views of the fireworks.

6. Explore the Ferry Building Marketplace: Head to the Ferry Building Marketplace, where you can indulge in a variety of food options from local vendors. It’s a lively place to visit and offers a scenic view of the bay.

7. Enjoy a Beach Day: If the weather permits, spend the day at one of San Francisco’s beaches, such as Baker Beach or Ocean Beach. Pack a beach towel, sunscreen, and some snacks, and relax by the ocean.

Remember to check for any specific guidelines, event schedules, or closures in advance, as things may change or vary from year to year. Enjoy your Fourth of July celebrations in San Francisco!”

I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty sure this is the same reply London Breed would give if I were to ask her the same question in public. In private, she would surely tell me to watch illegal fireworks in the Mission, which is what you should actually do.

The legal firework shows are all kind of boring. If you’ve seen one firework show, you’ve seen them all.  But have you seen a guy in a low rider spinning donuts while shooting roman candles into the crowd? Exactly. Do that. It’s what Anthony Bourdain would’ve done. I think…

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