Meet Balaji Srinivasan – San Francisco’s Premier Tech Fascist

Balaji Srinivasan – Photo Credit: Tech Crunch

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably wondering who the fuck Balaji Srinivasan is. 

Well, let me inform you: If you took a crackhead, and you made that crackhead watch Blade Runner on repeat for a year, and then gave that crackhead access to an endless stream of capital via A16z and a Twitter following of nerds that get high huffing Elon Musk’s jenkem, you’d pretty much have Balaji Srinivasan.  

So why is Srinivasan the premier tech fascist of San Francisco? Well, because he aspires to make segregated sections of the city based on a color-coded hierarchy of political allegiance. He also wants to buy the police department to uphold this hierarchy. I’m not fucking kidding. 

Here’s his idea: He wants to create a political alliance with a group of tech fascists that he calls “The Grays.” The Grays will basically be guys who turned deifying tech guys into a political ideology/religion. The Grays will be identifiable by their gray shirt. Yes, they have to wear a gray shirt. I actually like this idea, you’ll know who to punch. 

The Grays will have certain sections of the city just for them. Their natural allies are what Srinivasan calls “the Reds” This is another name for Republicans. In Srinivasan’s vision, there isn’t much of a difference between the Grays and the Reds other than the grays are fascists who can code, while the Reds are fascists who can’t. 

Then there are what Srinivasan calls “the Blues” or Democrats, or really anyone that he deems to be anywhere on the Left. These people will not be allowed to go into the Gray/Red parts of the City and will be forced to wear a Blue Shirt. 

And the Blues definitely won’t be invited to the… wait for it… “Gray Pride Parade.” 

The Gray Pride Parade will be a march of Grays, Reds and SFPD. It will also be somewhat of a North Korea-style military event as the Grays will display their military might by way of technological supremacy. I’m not making this up. I know this sounds like some shit I’m making up, but I promise I’m not. 

Doesn’t this shit sound fucking stupid? Well, Marc Andreessen said that this guy “has the highest rate of output per minute of good new ideas of anybody I’ve ever met.” 

This should concern you because Marc Andreessen is one of the most powerful people in Silicon Valley. But the powerful tech connections don’t end there, he’s also quite chummy with Garry Tan, the CEO of Y Combinator, who also happens to look like a shaved Ewok. A shaved Ewok that suffers from such a sensitive anus that he blocked me on Twitter. 

Garry Tan seems to be a supporter of the Gray Movement as he is using his money to try and dismantle San Francisco’s democratic process and ingratiate himself with the police department. 

What I’ve covered in this article is only a summary of what the Grays want to accomplish with their fascist “Network State.” 

If you want to learn more, click here.

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