This Jerk Parks His Cybertruck in an SF Crosswalk Every Day
Can you be any more of an entitled prick?
I recently got an email from a reader detailing how this complete douche parks his Tesla Cybertruck in the crosswalk every day at Mason and Lombard.
The email appropriately titled “Rich Guy Makes Crosswalk Personal Parking Space for Tesla Truck” also came with photographic proof. Here’s the initial email:
“This ongoing saga at the corner of Lombard and Mason might be of interest to you. Apparently, this crosswalk is a parking space for those who need to get their children to private preschool on time and drive wanna-be Tesla trucks. He’s a serial offender without regard for those who need to use the crosswalk or who even for the fire department. Average time is 15 minutes, plus. Long enough for some poor, unsuspecting pedestrian to get creamed in the street.”
As you can see from the photo below (which was taken on a different day), a person has to walk around that hideous monstrosity, to cross the street. This is obviously dangerous because, while it’s already difficult to see a full grown adult if this bad Mario Kart impression is blocking the sidewalk, this is near a school. Oncoming drivers will definitely not be able to see children crossing the street if this thing is in the way. Which it apparently is, “like clockwork”, every weekday from 4:30-5:00pm.
FartBreath McFuckerson parked in the crosswalk on a different day.
The person who took the photos wishes to stay anonymous but they did say that “It’s owned by a couple who are a blond soccer Mom, and a backwards baseball cap wearing dude Dad”.
The arrogance and entitlement on display here is not an example of “This is why we can’t we have nice things” as much as a case of “This is why we can’t have ugly things”…because honestly those cars look like they were designed on the original 8-bit Nintendo. The first time we saw one in person, my wife brilliantly said that the only way these things would be redeemable is if they played the Super Mario Bros. theme when you honked the horn.
And this is not the first case of Cybertrucker awfulness to come to light this week. Earlier this week a news story broke about someone parking their Cybertruck in a crosswalk in Nantucket as well! Subsequently, the same Cybertruck got stuck in the sand on the island, which prompted a “CyberStuck” hashtag on social media.
If you block the crosswalk AND the fire hydrant at the same time, you get a special merit badge in the Shithead Scouts
Tesla drivers are already known as the worst drivers on the road. That’s not just anecdotal evidence every single one of us has experienced while just living as normal people in the world; it’s actually a proven fact. A recent study found that Tesla drivers are the most prone to get into accidents.
So I guess that makes Cybertruck owners the King Shits of Fuck Mountain of the automobile world. Considering less than 4,000 have been sold, they must be the creme de la creme of the worst drivers. In fact, so few have been sold, that when a recent recall was announced and the world realized that nobody was buying them, it sent Tesla’s stock into a major slide.
But I digress from the main point: the person who parks their car in the crosswalk at Mason and Lombard every weekday is not only putting peoples’ lives in danger, he’s also a total fucking wanker.
If you work in parking enforcement in San Francisco, or know someone who does, this is a fine opportunity to make the streets safer for pedestrians, while taking an entitled prick down a notch. It’s your civic duty to do this…and then post photos of it on the internet.
Howdy! My name is Katy Atchison and I'm an Associate Editor for Broke-Ass Stuart.
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