How “Switches” in Swing Dancing are Gender-Blurring Pride
By Eddie Jen
For Pride this year, I wish San Francisco queers the joys of dancing and connecting on the dance floor that doesn’t involve Miss Mollie or Miss Snow.
Seriously. It’s like, ‘why do I even bother putting a look together for Saturday night when I’m going to be the only one with a shirt on in a sea of sweaty male torsos’?
Maybe it’s because I’m old(er), but I love the big band sounds of Frank Sinatra and Michael Buble. I’ve been swing dancing for a while now, but until just a few months ago, I’d never danced as a follower. Life outside of designated gay spaces still defaults to straight gender roles, even in a city like San Francisco. But the major difference between now versus twenty years ago (when I first started dancing in North Beach), is that there is no longer a threat of physical or verbal violence: it’s another reason why I love the Millenials (or should I credit the change to Gen Z?).
I am still one of very few guys — oftentimes the only one — who’s learning to follow. Having danced throughout Europe, South America, and Asia, I can confirm that guys dancing with guys in otherwise straight spaces is not really seen outside of San Francisco.
Truth be told, those first lessons where I learned to dance follow were hella awkward. The vast majority of guys taking swing lessons as leads are straight guys. When I rotate my way around the circle, practicing new moves together requires close physical contact, with their hands on my hips, and arms around my shoulders. It made me nervous; them, too.
But how else was I going to learn how to follow?
I’d always ask first if they were cool with it. To date, no one’s said no. From those awkward first months to now, here are some tips I’ve learned:
- People are more comfortable around you when *you* are more comfortable with yourself. Relax. Smile. Channel your inner drag queen.
- Remind yourself that everyone’s here to have fun, to learn a shared language to express our inner light. I shine; you shine: we shine together for the duration of this song.
- And, finally: a follower has it so much easier! It’s also way more fun! A leader has to always plan one move ahead — at least. I think of it as the leader writing the sentence, and the follower adding the adjectives. And a follower has an entire half-second extra to conjure up something fabulous.
After so many years of not really dancing, I finally discovered my inner dance diva when I followed. I was a terrible lead: I used to go down my moves repertoire like checking items off a grocery list. I was too stiff and unsure of myself. My personality wouldn’t — couldn’t — sing. Because I was trying to play it straight. Following has made me a better lead.
Another cool thing about being a follower is that I’m finally dancing with lesbian leads, like my friend Wimbledon. She literally comes to the dance, cracks her knuckles, and says, I feel the need to lead. Because she’s a smaller Asian woman, leading a taller, bigger guy like me requires more forceful physical cues than when she dances with women.
“You need to toss me around like you mean it,” I told her.
She laughed. “Ooooh, you’d enjoy that a little too much.”
Eventually, everyone sweats in Lindy Hop. It’s part of the game. But Wimbledon only tolerates sweaty women. She draws the line at sweaty guys. It’s so cute and real and authentic. I love having fun with my fellow LGBT tribe members whose social circles I don’t often overlap with.
Learning to swing dance has given me a pass to parties all over the world.
To dance along the Seine River in Paris against the sun setting on a warm summer day, or underneath strings of lights at night along the Spree River in Berlin — it is an investment that gives perpetual dividends in a fun life, wherever you are, at whatever age. I can’t imagine going to a circuit party in my 70s, but I when see the spry and spiffy ladies in their 80s twirling around the dance floor, I always think to myself: that’s the kind of girl I want to be.
So come check it out. Join me and Wimbledon in this pioneering movement to blur the genders of who gets to dance what role. It’s the next evolution of Lindy Hop, a dance that originated in Black America. I’m seeing more and more straight guys dance follow now. When we take the plunge to try something different, something that scares us, it makes our San Francisco a little more free and magical for everyone. What are you waiting for? I’ve already tested the waters for you, and I’m here to tell you the temperature’s just right.
The WoodChopper Ball, San Francisco’s largest weekly swing party, is celebrating Pride Month by offering a discount to beginner dancers. The monthlong lessons include admission to the social dance that’s always accompanied by a live band. But hurry — you must sign up by Monday, June 3rd.
A night out at the WoodChopper Ball, the largest weekly swing dancing party in San Francisco:
Forward this article to someone who you think would enjoy learning Lindy Hop this Pride.
And here’s a list of all the swing dancing opportunities throughout the week:
Tuesday: – The WoodChopper Ball at the historic Verdi Club. Live band & lessons & social dancing.
Wednesday: – Cat’s Corner at the clubby Valencia Room. Live band & lessons & social dancing
Thursday: – Doghouse at the Russian Center. Lessons & social dancing.
– The Breakaway in downtown Oakland. Lessons & social dancing. Live band the last week of the month.
Saturdays: – Lindy on Sproul in Berkeley. Lessons & social dancing.
– Lindy by the Lake (Merritt). Social dancing (occasional live band.)
Sundays: – Lindy in the Park (Golden Gate). Oldest free weekly dance party in San Francisco. Free lessons & social dancing.
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