Broke-Ass Porn

Broke-Ass Porn: Free Sample Double Teaming

Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought:


What do you do when you need to be satisfied in two totally different ways and you haven’t a penny to your hungry name?  When one half of you wants to be nurtured and revitalized, to relish in quality not quantity, while the other wants gluttonous satisfaction, to prime the pump at any cost.

You’re fevered brain already has the answer.  The city’s geography plays in your favour so well, my salivating, wanton pleasure seeker.

Costco, the Las Vegas of household consumerism, offers its bounty of free samples dripping in caloric excess, beckoning under lurid, fluorescent lighting.  Inhaling a crab puff, you’re darting eyes have already narrowed in on the egg roles adorned in brightly coloured toothpicks.  Hey- isn’t that the heady aroma of cheap hot dogs?

A few blocks away, Trader Joe’s extends its sweet granola embrace.  Sure, it doesn’t offer the smorgasbord that you’ll find elsewhere, but hey they’re not going to begrudge you another bite'.and, while you’re nibbling, are you sure you don’t need, say a bag of easily prepared pot stickers? Or perhaps some' vodka-of the Gods, no less!  Go on, you know you want it.

Trader Joe’s Song on YouTube

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Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

Stephen's early years were spent in a boxcar overlooking downtown Los Angeles. From there he moved around the state with his family before settling under the warm blanket of smog that covers suburban Southern California. Moving around led to his inability to stay in one place for very long, but San Francisco has been reeling him back in with its siren song since 1999.
By trade he pours booze, but likes to think he can write and does so occasionally for the SF Bay Guardian, Bold Italic and 7x7. He also likes to enjoy time spent in old eateries, bars and businesses that, by most standards, would have been condemned a long time ago.