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Gratuitously Creampie Stuart In The Castro This Sunday!

Updated: Oct 02, 2015 08:57
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Was there something missing for you at this last Folsom? Have you ever really had the urge to give it to Stuart, real sloppy?  Do you like slapstick?  Well, perverts, you may be in luck.

This Sunday as the sun rises on a special Castro Street Fair in honour of the neighbourhood’s much-missed Cookie Dough, throngs of San Franciscans will be coming to bask in the sun-kissed carnival.

Scott Smith getting his in Harvey's camera store.

Scott Smith getting his in Harvey’s camera store.

Along the midway will be the Harvey Milk Club returning with its wonderfully revolting pie toss booth. Yes, you will have a chance for seven hours to throw pie after pie at your favourite local celebrity, and nestled among that firmament will be mayoral candidate, the one and only, Broke-Ass- In-Chief, Stuart Schuffman, ladies and gentlemen!!!! The opportunity is yours to coat his sunny San Diegan face with pie tin after pie tin full of fruit-riddled, luxuriant, whipped cream.

What stuart thinks he's getting.

What stuart thinks he’s getting.

cream pie

What he is actually getting.

Some have spoke rather disparagingly of Stu this election, saying that they can’t take him seriously as a candidate. Well, he’s in good company, because they said the same thing about Harvey. In fact, it is as tribute to Harvey that the club holds this toss, as that it was one of his favourite pastimes. It’s true, kids- Harvey Milk, former supervisor and honorary member of Ringling Brothers & Barnum & Bailey Circus liked nothing more on his birthday than a good pie in the puss. He wasn’t some wet rag, like well, da dis guy.

Joining Stuart in the cherry-bombing will be his fellow “1-2-3 Replace Ed Lee” mayoral candidate Amy Farah Weiss, District 9 Supervisor David Campos, District 6 Supervisor Jane Kim, District 3 Supervisorial Candidate Aaron Peskin, Milk Co_Prez Peter Galotta, CCSF Candidate Tom Temprano, Fair Emcee and Ru Paul Alum Honey Mahogany, Fair Emcee Sue Casa, Grand Duchess Roxy Cotton-Candy, Horchata La Shy Girl, Tamale Ringwald, Cholula Caliente, CCSF Trustee Rafael Mandelman and many, many more!

You got a nice fondant fastball? The booth will be running from 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. on Hibernia Beach in front of the Sausage Factory. Bring your spare change and pastry-pitching prowess!

 

Take It On The Chin With A Pie Tin!
Sunday, October 4, 2015 11:00 a.m.- 6:00 p.m.

Hibernia Beach
(SE corner of 18th Street @ Castro)
[Castro/ Eureka Valley]
SF
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Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

Stephen Torres - Threadbare-Fact Finder (Editor, San Francisco)

Stephen's early years were spent in a boxcar overlooking downtown Los Angeles. From there he moved around the state with his family before settling under the warm blanket of smog that covers suburban Southern California. Moving around led to his inability to stay in one place for very long, but San Francisco has been reeling him back in with its siren song since 1999.
By trade he pours booze, but likes to think he can write and does so occasionally for the SF Bay Guardian, Bold Italic and 7x7. He also likes to enjoy time spent in old eateries, bars and businesses that, by most standards, would have been condemned a long time ago.