I’ve been meaning to go to Beach Blanket Babylon ever since I moved to the City.  I still haven’t though.  It’s generally just too damn expensive.  Luckily, my friend (who will remain nameless so they don’t get fired over the flask reference) just informed me that, on Sundays, tickets are

  So I’ve decided to start an advice column here on Broke-Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website called Poor Advice.  Think of it as Dear Abby with a drinking problem.  Basically, this is where your questions get answered and nothing is taboo.  And generally speaking, the best piece of advice I can

  What is the difference between a stripper and a cabaret dancer?  About 30 lbs.  At least, so goes the stand-up joke.  Annnyway, there is so much free stuff going on today and tomorrow it seemed difficult to choose based on pure merit, so I took into consideration a little

By the nature of our strange little micro-climate, San Francisco is not really an “outside” city.  Forecasters have all but given up on accurately predicting the each day’s weather, and every time you leave the house you must bring at least a couple layers, just in case.  That’s why when the weather

Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought: What do you do when you need to be satisfied in two totally different ways and you haven’t a penny to

The best doughnut related thing that comes to mind right now is a line from Vonnegut’s “Slapstick“, which he uses when someone not related to him in a newly devised artificial family structure for society asks him for help:  “Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut!” 

I’m so hot on tips today its like a I’m blazing my own trail! If you’ve ever wanted to go to a restaurant, order an insane amount of food and then whisper the secret password to cut your bill in half, TONIGHT is the night! Luna Park in the Mission,