Hey pervs!  Heralding the hotter days to come with hos, hard-ons and harnesses, the 30th Annual Up Your Alley Street Fair busted through SoMa like a well-lubed fist.  Perhaps because it was an milestone year, this year’s festivities felt more the raunch rodeos of yore than Dore’s of recent memory.

Valentine’s Day is lame, right? Or it’s awesome, if you’re coupled up, a fan of chocolate, and/or not a strong feminist. But why settle for ignoring, protesting, or even participating in this church-sanctioned holiday for lovers? Lucky for you, an ancient Roman fertility festival takes place February 13-15 every year