Broke-Ass Porn: Park Days

Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought:

Spring is upon us.  The birds are chirping, tan lines are appearing, and the sound of laughter and acoustic guitars can be heard coming from any city park.  What more can you ask for in life than to be able to hang out with friends (ones you’ve just met or the ones you’ve known for years), while enjoying the warm sun and some cold beers?  It’s a broke-ass’s dream really.  The atmosphere is free and the only thing you have to pay for is whatever you decide to bring.

Some of the best days of my life have been spent in parks from Dolores to Prospect and from the Tiergarten in Berlin, to that weird time in Argentina with the Native American and the Norwegian coke-heads. I love hanging in the park because it’s one of the few places you can go where the amount of enjoyment you get has absolutely no correlation to the amount of money in your pocket.  Even the bums seem to have a great time on a nice day in the park.

So next time the sun is shining and you’ve got some free time on your hands, grab a blanket, a tall boy, and some pals, and head to the park.  It’s beckoning you, but you already knew that.  Just remember one thing, don’t be a shithead.  Make sure to pick up your trash when you leave.  You’re a grown-ass person for fuck’s sake!

Got any great park stories?  I’d love to hear them.  Leave them as comments below.

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About the author

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".
  • http://www.oliverhartman.com Oliver Hartman – Resident Bargain Whorespondent

    I was just in the park at the Carroll Gardens stop 15 minutes ago. 3 little girls with oversized heads were having footraces. Then I bought a $2 vanilla soft serve from the ice cream truck. That shit doesn’t even have any dairy in it any more. Friggin Corn Syrup Truc.

  • http://brokeassstuart.com Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor In Cheap

    mmmmm…high fructose corn syrup…..

  • jayh

    I just started hanging out at Dolores last weekend. I haven’t hung out at the park since I was a kid! FAIL #1: Not bringing sunblock…my nose and shoulders are red. As a Mexican (though VERY pale), I’m under the false pretense that I’ll tan and not burn….sorely mistaken.

  • http://brokeassstuart.com Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor In Cheap

    When I was a kid I got sunburned on my shoulders and then when it was peeling, I got burnt again, so it ended up being like a 2nd degree burn. Apparently I wasn’t very bright :)

    Anyway, ever since then I’ve had tons of freckles on my shoulders.

  • Pingback: Dolores Park is the Best Place Ever « Broke-Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website

  • Suzie

    The blanket really makes or breaks a day at the park. I’ve figured out that the best blanket is a thick old comforter & in SF a 2nd comforter to wrap up in when the summer fog rolls overhead. I like the newly invented blankets with the plastic underside to prevent wet grass spots under ones buns, but don’t like the LL Bean requisite plaid with forest bears on the other side. So for now, my old Star Wars & Rainbow Brite comforters are at the ready in the trunk of my car. Summer park-time is here!

  • http://brokeassstuart.com Broke-Ass Stuart – Editor In Cheap

    Oh hell yeah! The blanket can make or break it for sure! Without a good one, you can stand up and realize your ass is soaked