Three Cleanses that will Clean Up Your Act, and Not Clean Out Your Wallet

So you are trying to stay “clean” after all the partying that went down over the holidays, right? There are a ton of cleanses and detoxes out there – but which ones can you afford? Try these three versions that are broke-ass friendly:

The Master Cleanse

The Master Cleanse, or Cayenne pepper cleanse is a special detoxification diet. It is gets rid of the toxins that accumulate in the intestines and tissues. Supporters of the cayenne pepper cleansing diet normally claim that they feel a lot more energetic and focused by the time they finish the cleanse. However, the main reason people do it is to lose weight. This is pretty obvious, since you won’t be eating anything for a week to 10 days – and if you are really hardcore, you can do it for up to 40 days without harming your body. Think about how much money you will save drinking this fire-water for a month!

Cayenne Pepper Master Cleanse Recipe

  • 24 ounces cold purified (or distilled) water
  • three ounces of freshly squeezed lemon or lime juice
  • three ounces of Maple Syrup
  • 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

 

 The Liver Cleanse

Everybody knows that the liver is the biggest and maybe most vital organ in the body. When the liver is not doing so hot, neither is the rest of your body. Sometimes, you’ve just got to clean that thing out! Here is a pretty gnarly liver cleanse that won’t cost you a fortune – I’d

 

Liver Cleanse Ingredients List:

  • 4 Tablespoons Epsom Salts
  • 1 Cup Olive Oil (light oil is best for taste)
  • 14 Pink Grapefruit
  • 12 Apples
  • 4 Lemons

 

Liver Cleanse Itinerary Timeline:

  • 8:30am – 12:30pm – Juice 12 grapefruits and drink throughout the morning.
  • 1:30pm – 5:30pm – Juice 12 apples and drink in the afternoon.
  • 6:00pm – Mix 1 tablespoon of Epsom Salts with 3/4 cup of water and squeeze one lemon into it for taste and drink down. This is best if done with cold water and drink with a straw.
  • 8:00pm – Repeat same as 6:00pm
  • 9:30pm – Prepare for bed and do bedtime chores. Measure 1 cup of olive oil into a jar for shaking and add the fresh juice of two grapefruits and shake. Shake real hard to mix thoroughly. Go to the bathroom the last time.
  • 10:00pm – Drink the Olive Oil mixture. Drink with a straw as it helps it to go down easier. Lie down on your right side for 20 minutes. Try not to move during this time as the oil is passing down the liver. Go to sleep.
  • Next Morning – Upon waking take another dose of Epsom Salts, 3/4 water and lemon. Repeat 2 hours later.
    After two more hours you may eat. Start with fruit juice. Half an hour later eat fruit. One hour later you may eat light.

 

The Juice Cleanse

If you have a juicer, a full-on juice cleanse is also a cheap way to detoxify and replenish your body. Raw foodists are all about it and you can be too.

Follow this advice to juice it up!

If you are new to the juice life – start by drinking 16 oz. four times per day.  That gives you 64 oz. of juice per day.  You can drink more or less depending on your body and needs. If you are really active, your body needs more fuel.  So drink more.  If you are hungry or feeling weird (like headache or body aches) also drink more. Try the juice cleanse for a few days to start out, or for one week if your body is used to a pure liquid diet.

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About the author

Heidi Smith - The Ultimate Scavenger

Originally from San Diego, Heidi migrated north to study journalism at SFSU and interned for the SF Bay Guardian writing music stuff. She later embarked on a study-abroad program in both Denmark and Holland, and basically never came home. For six long years, she froze her ass off in Oslo, Norway, pretending to be a viking princess, trying to figure out how to survive in the most expensive city in the world. The other two years were spent frolicking on the beach in Spain - sipping on sangria in between being tossed around Europe working as a stressed-out journalist. Heidi currently works at for a non-profit cultural exchange program, helping others experience life from a different perspective. She is thrilled to be back in SF, magnetizing the obscure, and scavenging the city for fun, free things to do.
  • J L

    Please don’t advise people to starve themselves. Master Cleanse and its ilk are really nothing more than starvation. People report feeling great or energetic after feeling miserable for a few days– those are the endorphins you get from starving. My stoner friend thinks Master Cleanse makes up for the other crap she puts in her body, but getting her to make sense in conversation is HARDER when she’s on the Cleanse than when she’s smoking. Try exercise and fewer processed foods instead!