The Haunted Porn Studio of SF: Nudity, Horror, and a Lot of Fun
Please note that there is an entry form at the bottom of this article so that you can win tickets to this rad tour!!
“Welcome to the Armory’s haunted tour…or sex tour…depending how you look at it,” says a man dressed all in black. With that, we descend into the darkness of the world’s largest porn castle. Once safely inside a room with rubber floors and chains hanging from the ceiling, our trusty guide asks us to be perfectly silent while his minions put black cloth sacks over our heads.
Blinded and silenced we are marched single file to god knows where, guided only by a long piece of rope and the sound of a man’s voice. When my hood is suddenly whisked off my head, in front of me stands a beautiful dominatrix bathed in light. She has blonde hair and washboard abs, and as she leans towards me, her leather leggings creak to break the silence, she whispers into my ear, “Have you been a bad boy today?”
Slacked-jawed I only manage to stammer, “yyyess?” She smiles, unconvinced, and moves toward a sprightly girl I had chatted with upstairs only minutes before…nudity and bondage ensues…both woman are beautiful, but one is in control and one is subdued, and then comes the horror…
Trust me, if you like great set designs, amazing performance art, live instruments, and beautiful bloodied men and women creating a fantastical world for you behind every cryptic door, you should check out this new Hell In The Armory tour. The hour long event is well worth the price of admission. Once you’re done, I recommend hanging out in the Armory Club bar across the street, where everyone decompresses after their journey, trades horror stories, and watches other groups take the tour, live, on flat screens.
My Personal Disclaimer: There will be naked people on this tour, there will be live performers beckoning you to participate, there will be both horror and sex themed action. There will be singing, there will be dancing, and there will be things that make you laugh and things that make you JUMP. You have been warned. Now go forth…and have a lot of fun, Oh did I mention we are giving away free tickets? Win FREE Tix at the bottom of the post!!
TICKETS ARE SOLD ONLINE ONLY: BUY TICKETS HERE
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Event Details:
An adult themed, immersive theater/tour experience of horror in the basement sets of the world’s largest porn studio, within the historic San Francisco Armory. Come join Kink.com’s celebration of Halloween and things that go bump in the night. This is a BDSM inspired house of terror, featuring an over the top production inclusive of contortionists, nude models body painted by the city’s top talent, prosthetics, animatronics, interactive art and a large cast of characters. Tour of hell will be 60 minutes in length. Tour guests will be treated to photo opportunities unlike anything they have seen before. After the tour, patrons over the age of 21 will be treated to a drink token for the Armory Club which will feature a live closed circuit feed of the horrors occurring at Hell in the Armory. This 18+ event is sure to become an annual favorite to-do for fans of horror and adult content. Come celebrate Halloween with us!
For More Information, Please See Our Website: http://www.hellinthearmory.com
NO REFUNDS, NO EXCEPTIONS
Hours
Mon: CLOSED
Tues: 7pm – 12am
Weds: 7pm – 12am
Thurs: 7pm – 12am
Fri: 7pm – 12am
Sat: 7pm – 12am
Sun: CLOSED
Parking
Parking in the area is limited. We highly recommend taking public transportation, carpool, cab or a ride-share service to your event. There are a couple of small paid lots a few blocks away, but otherwise, it is mostly street parking (paid meters during daytime hours).
The San Francisco Armory
333 14th Street (@ Mission)
[Inner Mission]
SF
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