Arts and CultureSan Francisco

I am at Bay to Breakers

Updated: Jul 31, 2013 12:59
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If I dont survive this year, please remember me fondly just as I look here

If I don’t survive this year, please remember me fondly just as I look here

So yeah, I’m running around the city dressed in my finest Yacht Rock gear and partying.  I’m probably having the most fun ever.  Bay to Breakers is my favorite day of the year.  And to think they almost ruined it.

Anyways, this means that you shouldn’t expect any other updates from me today.  So instead I’ll just leave you with this loving description of B2B from my SF book:

Bay to Breakers:  Simply put, B2B is a race from the bay to the ocean, through San Francisco, where people dress in costumes and drink heavily.To give you a better idea of it though, I’ll tell you my experience from a few years ago:

I arrived at 9am, dressed in some sort of fairy costume with an orange tutu, and met up with my group of seven intrepid companions.I cracked open my first 40 shortly afterwards.We then walked with the masses through Golden Gate Park where we continued to drink the many free beers people gave us as well as opening and drinking our second 40’s.People were passed out drunk all through the park.At the end of the park we somehow scored giant sausages for $1 each and then the heavens opened up and dumped rain on us.I began to wonder what happened to the passed out people.

We ran for ten blocks before we found an Irish pub.Car Bombs were had, followed by vodka and redbulls.Nachos happened on Haight St. where I was drunk enough to start delivering peoples’ food to their tables.I somehow made it home safely where I passed out a 7pm.I woke the next day and both my sides ached; I’m pretty sure it was my kidneys crying tears of blood; my liver was not responsive.Two weeks later I had a dream that it was B2B again and it caused me to have anxiety in my sleep because I thought it was too early to go through that again.Bay to Breakers will fuck you up!I highly recommend it.

Of course I’m far more responsible now….I will be peeing in the port-a-potties instead of on people’s houses.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.