Broke-Ass of the Week – Laura Beck of Vegansaurus
Every week we feature a different person from the community shedding a little light on their life of brokeitude. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something about the human spirit'probably not.
Wanna be a Broke-Ass of the Week? Holler at us here and we’ll send you the questionnaire.
Laura is a vegan. Despite this culinary handicap, she’s a pretty funny chick. She also runs a website called Vegansaurus, an eating/living guide to the San Francisco Bay Area for vegans. After reading her website, my favorite thing about her is that she’s a shit talker. My least favorite thing about vegans though are their farts. Have you ever smelled a vegan’s fart? They are soul crushing. When I asked her if there was anything she’d like me to say about her in this intro, Laura responded, “um…This is Laura! She is amazing and rad! Happy Tuesday!” Yes, happy Tuesday indeed Laura. Enjoy her answers below, they’re pretty hilarious.
Name: Laura Beck
Occupation: Non-profit wage slave/crazy animal lady
What neighborhood do you live in?: 94110
Best money saving tip: Be vegan, bulk bins at Rainbow, soy milk at Grocery Outlet (Gross out!), using ‘pons whenever possible (which should be always, if you’re good at it)
What do you refuse to spend money on?: SEX? What kind of a question is this? I guess parking tickets. It’s my form of civil disobedience–I’m like MLK or Ghandi, except I’m a worse person.
Most expensive thing you’ve ever bought: Hazel! My Rocket Dog Rescue who has cost me several grand in vet bills.
How’d that feel?: Mainly awesome, she’s worth every penny!
Favorite cheap eat: Free Papalote burrito with frequent buyer card, free Maggie Mudd cone with frequent buyer card, I’m all about the frequent eater card. Learn it, live it. Oh and Ike’s sandwiches are like $10 but they’re two delicious meals and the vegan selection is the absolute best.
Favorite dive bar: El Rio (PATIO), El Trebol (LOCALS), The Attic ($2.50 Manhattans at Happy Hour…goes ’til 8!), The Eagle (the sweetest pleather daddies!), Bender’s (seitan tacos!), LiPo (just like a good dive bar, it’s got cheap stiff drinks, it’s dark, and it feels like a great place to make out/get stabbed. Unlike most dive bars: juke-box filled with cantonese pop and 80s power ballads. BROKE-ASS TIP: you can rent the whole place out for like $40 a night. If you ever lose your apartment, this makes the LiPo an excellent alternative to your standard TL SRO.).
Best deal you’ve ever gotten: Free TV and desk on Magical Capp St., super cheap couches on CL, once we had a garage sale and tried to sell a bunch of legally-gotten plan b. Thought it would be amazing but turns out, people don’t want to buy their abortions from two chicks on the street. KIDDING! I know it’s not a real abortion, just a mini one! KIDDING AGAIN!
Favorite free thing to do: It, Hulu, hanging out at friend’s houses who have one or more of the following: 1) TV 2) Pool table 3) food 4) central heating.
If you woke up a millionaire, what’s the first thing you’d buy? Everyone I know a meal at Millennium, Hazel a super blingy collar, Rocket Dog Rescue an Urban Sanctuary so that they could save all the dogs, a treat truck to sell vegan snacks from. I guess that’s lots of first things, I have wants!
Despite not having money, do you still love your life?: I GUESS. It would be much better with money. Mo’ Money, Less Problems.
Do you own my book?: What’s your book again? Does it cost money?
Best hangover cure: Excedrin, sleep and a dog you have to walk. Then, more sleep.
Are you a hipster?: No; I’m popular on Yelp.
Laura! You twigs and berries eatin’ cray cray who-re!! xoxo
If you think vegan farts smell bad, then you should smell the farts of someone who eats animal flesh!!
yeah, those ain’t too pretty either.
Stuart, man, that wasn’t vegan farts–there was something else going on. Vegans fart sunshine–it’s true.
What the fuck makes Laura think she isn’t a hipster??!!
Oh, geeze. Excedrin’s bad for the liver, folks. Try aspirin.
Dang, this Laura person is fucking hilarious! It makes me want to be vegan because maybe then I could be that funny while also being a better person!
ben, you are amazing. also, get me your articles like ten minutes ago i need content KTHXBYE!
We love vegansaurus!
What a stupid poon Laura Beck is. I just read Matt Smith’s article in the SF Weekly, “What’s The Beef With Vegetarianism” and she was quoted (as the so-called “brains” behind Vegansaurus) as saying “I just don’t want to put something in my body that was alive”.
Hello? That’s the fucking definition of “food”, unless you eat nothing but rocks, you dumb bint.
Fruits and vegetables were “once alive” as much as meat was. So you don’t eat those either? Because they “don’t have a face”?
What the fuck do you eat then?
Vegans are such smug morons. Ignorant of nutrition and organic chemistry, it’s daft twats like this that give vegans a (deservedly) bad name.