Try To Hold a Light To Me, I’m A Lady: Dating Tracks For the Ladiez

I’d like to now give a shout out to Kristen Holden, who, on my last music post, called me out for not having enough women on my list.  She was absolutely right.  To make up for my grave error, here are not six, not ten, but FIFTEEN tracks about dating from the perspective of various women– or at least tracks that I myself associate very closely with my and my female friends’ experiences with sex and dating.

That’s right.  This one’s for tha ladiezz:

1. Diplo’s remix of Santigold’s “I’m a Lady”, Featuring Amanda Blank

There’s nothing quite like a re-appropriation of a hip hop song originally done by a man.  In this case, it’s Amanda Blank of Spankrock (incidentally, she just released a new solo album early last month) doing the commandeering, within splices of Santigold’s amazing song “I’m a Lady”, featuring lyrics like: “And I like sometimes to wave it high/Up where everyone can see/I’m a lady/I got my mind made up…I know what’s been mad/You really don’t/Try to hold a light to me/I’m a lady”.  Fuckin’ SOLID.  Not to mention that it’s great for reflecting on sticking to your high dating standards.  It might be my new dating life mantra/theme song.

2. “Paper Bag”, Fiona Apple

God knows I’ve had many a disillusionment with people I’ve dated.  And yet sometimes, with someof them, it’s been a struggle to get them entirely out of my mind.  I couldn’t think of anything more appropriate than Fiona Apple’s lines from this song: “I thought he was a man, but he was just little boy…Hunger hurts but starving works, when it costs too much to love”, etc.  Then, once you’re done and you get the bastards out of your head, listen to “Get Gone”.  Trust me.

3.  “After Dark”, Le Tigre

Though I discovered Le Tigre in college and I definitely had various “eureka” moments with Le Tigre as the soundtrack, I think this spoke to me most post-college.  To wit:

I got your name and number, you seem kinda surprised
Maybe it’s ’cause I can be, you know, like cold as ice
In crowded situations I always want to go
And if I see you leaving, I beat you to the door
I’m gonna tell you something, you’re better than fake-wild.
I see the future
In it, they try to kill your style, your manner, and your motives
I’ve seen the way it goes
So memorize my number, that’s why I got a phone
Call me after dark.
……
I don’t want someone telling me no-oh-oh, ‘you’re out of time’
I don’t mind being debated as long as you’re with me tonight.
I’m not gonna give up easy, we were made to cross the line.
I don’t want the things that we do…I don’t want to let them die.
Call me after dark.

Kathleen Hanna was the first one who made me realize that maybe I could “change this game forever” and for that, I salute her.

4. “Hold On, Hold On”, Neko Case

Come on, feel the ennui.  Wow, talk about the right place at the right time.  This is still definitely one of my faves.

5. “Game for Fools”, Jamie Lidell

Ok, so this isn’t technically a woman, but, this is totally a perfect song for reflecting on the ridiculousness of the whole dating game.  Have yourself a bittersweet laugh at, um, yourself…courtesy of Jamie Lidell!

6. “Through With Love”, Marilyn Monroe

Does anyone else remember this from Season 2 of Mad Men?  Simply amazing.  However, it’s more accurately from Some Like It Hot.  Goodbye to Spring and all it meant to me, indeed.

7. “Fucking Boyfriend”, The Bird and The Bee

Great song by a great band– perfectly capturing the moment or “grace period” during a courtship in which you think you know where it’s going, though you’re totally antsy for it just to happen already and actually, maybe a bit…unsure.

8. “Dory Previn”, Camera Obscura

Have you gotten that guy out of your head yet?  COME ON, GURL!  Well, you get one last mope, and there literally might not be a better song to do it to than this very song right here (with the possible exception of anything written by the actual Dory Previn).

9.  “Drive Away My Heart”, Ida Maria

Need an anthem for knowingly making mistakes and semi-not regretting them?  Here you go.  Just make sure you don’t keep REPEATING your mistake, K?  Also, I love how she’s LITERALLY driving a heart away in this video.

10.  “I Never”, Rilo Kiley

Oh, Jenny Lewis.  Only you could make tongue-in-cheek vulnerability so appealing.  Also, when is she going to make more early-60s style songs?

11.  “It’s Not Fair”, Lily Allen

First of all, I totally dig her hair in this video. But, secondly, you KNOW you’ve run into the problem of a nice enough guy not being able to get you off (or getting off before you & not “sharing the wealth”, as it were), and the inevitable over-analysis of the issue. It’s really NOT okay.

12. “How Many Licks?”, Lil Kim

I’m not posting the video, because, well, I hate it (if you really care, you can see it here). But what I do like is how much of an unabashed hornball she is. The end.

13. “Breaking It Up”, Lykke Li

The ultimate preemptive (and even post-) break up song. Oh, and, I heart Lykke Li with the fire of a thousand suns, not to mention that this video is amazing.

14. “Tristesse, Joie”, Yelle

Tristesse, joie, ces’t comme ca. Kind of an amazingly detached-yet-realistic way to view dating, no?
Also, the breakdown towards the end of the song is pretty sick.

15. “Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me”, The Pipettes

For when you’ve had just about enough of sweet, and you’re chock full of sass.