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Fraunces Tavern: Color Me Colonial

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The other day, via a G-chat conversation, Ashley and I discovered a place in lower Manhattan called Fraunces Tavern, a 3-story brick restaurant with various dining rooms mainly used for what I can only assume to be Colonial-themed occasions, as it’s a historical landmark, of sorts, as it was a meeting place for a bunch of those chumps that were like instrumental in forming what we know today as these United States of ‘Murrica.

The more amazing part?  There is one entire section on the website entirely dedicated to “Colonial Weddings.”  Upon discovering said section, I proposed to Ashley that clearly, we should plan a field trip under the guise of planning her Colonial themed wedding.

Judging from the tone of the Colonial Weddings info section, people probably have a tendency to go way too far  (i.e. the section entitled “Don’t Take It Too Far”).  I mean, if you’re having a Colonial themed wedding, more than likely, you’re completely batshit.  Here are some details we were thinking of communicating and/or asking about Ashley’s “wedding”.  Feel free to volunteer yours in the comments section:

1. If fife and drum corps is an option, can we also have a town crier announce and then lead the way to “Ye Olde Cocktail Houre”?

2. Are Crabbe Cakese an appetizer option?

3. Are Tri-Cornered hats available for purchase, in case people don’t appropriately adorn themselves in their own?

4. Wedding invitation idea: A Colonio-gram.  Modern technology meets the pomp, non-stop freedom declaration sensibilities of yore!  Let’s make this happen.  Maybe something of a re-imagined “Johnny Comes Marching Home Again” tune.  Otherwise, if we just use invitations made of toile, carrier pigeons are a must.

5. Is there a bunting board option for the bride and groom?  Maybe to be carried away after Ye Olde Wheddinge Receptione?

6. At the reception dinner, instead of the waiters serving pats of butter for bread, we’d like to feature a butter churn inserted into the centr(e) of every single table, so that guests can churn their own butter. Calorie-burning AND inconvenient!  The future truly does meet the past.

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Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G - Caliburg Contributor

Anna G. is a Southern California native living in the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn since 2005. Anna is constantly trying to unite her love of CA sunshine and the excitement of the New York urban jungle, all the while trying to keep her unwieldy credit card debt under control, and look fabulous at brunch, no matter how un-showered and hungover.