Tour a Porn Studio at the San Francisco Armory

"and those wonderful people out there in the dark..."

The last time I lived in Los Angeles, I had a brief stint as a tour guide on the Warner Brothers Studio lot.  Although not the most lucrative job, it was pretty interesting leading my flip-flopped charges through a real life dream factory.  Their eyes would dance at the possibility of catching a glimpse of a taping of Gillmore Girls or they would gasp when you accidentally dropped that vintage deco vase in the prop house- SURPRISE!!!! It’s just breakaway glass! Squeals of delight ensue!

Now just because we’re a little too far north to get that constant sprinkling of stardust, doesn’t mean you can’t take a little all-access, squeal-filled jaunt of your own.

Providing a nuanced blend of the Armory’s severe visage and history as well as a peek into the world of BDSM cinema secrets, every month local smut-purveyor-cum-historical-preservationists Kink.com offer free tours of their penetrable fortress.

Whereas, it’s probably more along the lines of Ball-gag Girls (and boys for that matter) than anything you’d find in Stars Hollow, employees will proudly show you their collection of sets, costumes and appliances.

In addition to all the bright lights you also get to view the massive interiors of the long shuttered monument and one of the few exposed sections of Mission Creek.

The, er, rub would be that because the tour is so popular, it’s sold out clear through the fall.  Not happy about that? Well just say so – here. Maybe they’re just short on tour guides.

San Francisco Armory Tour
2nd Fridays
Mission Street (@14th Street)
[Inner Mission]
FREE