Whiners Will Be Paddled at Amateur Ping Pong Tournament

I played ping pong for the first time a few weeks ago. Coordination and gentleness has never my thing. I hit a ball so hard it went into the balcony level of bleachers at the Y. Then I hit another ball onto the track and had to dodge runners to retrieve it. I didn’t finish an entire game, but I did get in a lot of trash talking and cursing so I feel good about the day.

If you’re one of those coordinated creatures who’s figured out how to hit a ping pong ball without propelling it into a bystander’s face, but you’re not up to Forest Gump’s idiot savant level of getting sponsorship from a paddle company, go to the Bell House tonight. You could win a fabulous cash prize in their amateur ping pong tournament. But don’t go if you’re a jackass and hyper-competitive. The only rules the Bell House’s Web site declared were “this is a fun tournament” and “whiners will be paddled.” (And if you’re into getting paddled, you should find a bar where someone will hit you without making you play ping pong first).

photo from papermag.com

Amateur Ping Pong Tournament
The Bell House
149 7th Street, between 2nd and 3rd Avenues [Gowanus, Brooklyn]
Tuesday, October 26
Warm ups at 7pm, Play starts at 8pm
FREE to watch, $5 to compete