Broke-Ass Guide to Being Sick

I am sick. It sucks. I feel like I have been thoroughly bitch slapped by whatever demon virus has invaded my body and after three days of quarantine, I see no signs of relief. Pity me now, please.

The first day I started to feel it coming on, I hit the nearest grocery store to stock up on whatever meds would distract me from my impending misery. Unfortunately, my misery was only made worse when I saw the ungodly cost of said remedies. An illness-fueled rage started to well up inside my stuffed sinuses and after sighing and scoffing audibly several times, I left the store empty handed.

So, for the past three days, in my refusal to spend more than four dollars on any one product, I have been forced to be creative, and for the most part it has helped as much as, if not more than the overpriced crap I’ve used in the past. That said, I still feel like shit, so lets keep this brief. Here are my Broke-Ass recommendations for feeling less-shitty when illin:

DIY Tea – While tea is relatively inexpensive, when you’re throwing it back at the rate I have, shit adds up. My roommate recommended making my own by slicing fresh ginger and lemon into hot water. Turns out, it makes me feel way better than the Cold Care Crap I’ve had in the past, and the ginger and lemon have yet to run out.

Garlic – I’ve heard from several reliable sources that eating a clove of raw garlic at the first sign of illness will often nip it in the bud. To mask the grossness of popping a clove in your mouth, try mincing and eating on a cracker with a bit of honey. Sure, you’ll smell like a garlic monster for the next day or so, but no one wants to get near you anyway, boogerface.

Salt Gargle – Also most effective when done at first sign of symptoms, gargling with warm salt water has proven to kill undeveloped germs in the back of your throat before they can really take grip. Works for a sore throat too.

Neti Pot or Saline Spray – If you aren’t grossed out by the Neti Pot process, invest in one, or make your own. If you gag a little at the thought of 'œirrigating your sinuses' then just buy some saline spray, which is way cheaper than the medicated stuff and doesn’t make you sinuses feel like they’re about to dry up and implode.

Sharing is Caring – Do your best to infect at least one of your friends or your significant other, so you have a pal to commiserate and hang out with.

Plan ahead – Homemade chicken soup in the freezer.

Photo from: noveltp.com