You’ve Made it Past Valentine’s Day: Now What?
Valentine’s Day can sometimes be a lot of pressure when you’re in a new relationship– or especially if you don’t know whether or not you’re technically in a relationship at all. Once you’ve successfully gotten past it, you’re home free, right? WRONG. Consider this a lesser-wedding. There’s so much hype around Valentine’s Day, that sometimes people never think about what’s gonna happen AFTER that…which is pretty much what 99.9% (it’s a fact, I took a poll of everyone who has ever lived) of the population does with weddings/marriage.
Here are some potential scenarios:
1) You and your whoever scoffed at the very idea of Valentine’s Day, except you secretly wanted them to surprise you with something, even if it was ironic.
First of all, you can’t feel ironically about something if you genuinely like it. If you genuinely like it, fucking own it, already (even if it’s stupid and lame). You’re basically setting yourself up for failure here. The lesson here is hackneyed, but true– just be yourself. If you’re with some person that would think you’re lame because you feel some way about “X” thing, then you should probably not be with that person.
2) Your significant other is probably a robot, because their idea of a good Valentine’s day was so fucking cheesy and hollow, you can’t possibly conceive of how there’s a real live person inside that shell of a human.
Well, this one’s easy– break up with them so they can find the other half of their Hallmark magnetic bear.
3) If you happened to have a great time on Valentine’s Day with someone you’ve been seeing, but aren’t in a relationship….
This does NOT, I repeat, NOT mean that you SHOULD be in a relationship with this person, or even try. Some things just need to be left as they are– like, I would be very sad to see a bad season 3 of Party Down, because it holds a special place in my heart that I’m hoping will be there forever. It is My Struggle, guys.
4) If your Valentine’s Day was just kind of “meh”
This is probably, more often than not, what WILL probably happen to you. I know disastrous people/things can really light some fire under your ass in terms of taking care of biz-nass, but there’s something to be said for being left lukewarm– generally, I mean, not JUST on that day. Chances are, you and the person you’re with are probably bored with each other– or at least just “not that into” each other. There’s really no reason to stay here, even if they’re a reasonably nice person. If you’re not completely in love with them, it’s just like….what’s the point?
5) Everything turned out exactly as you wanted it to…..but now the bar is SO HIGH, how can you possibly ever top it omgomgomg!?
Well, this could go one of two ways– you can and you will top it and you should stop worrying, or, you’ve put entirely too much significance on this most offensively conventional of holidays, and you’ll probably do the same for what can only possibly be a vomit-inducing wedding. You probably know what the answer is.
Photos Courtesy of: Listophobia, Off The Meathook, Full Issue, and Gator Bride.
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