The Unemployment Chronicles: Vol. III

Hello again, followers of my unemployment adventures. Thanks for stopping by. I’m doing my best not to go apeshit right here, right now, as I am starting to freak out about not having a job yet. I’ve sent out damn near 50 resumes and applications, and I’ve had no bites. I don’t know what I expected; it’s only been two weeks. But my impatient streak is starting to get the better of me. Here is what my brain is like right now:

I should not work in bed.

While working (i.e., looking for work) from the comfort of my Sultan Florvåg office sounds relaxing, in truth it’s just a big pain in the ass, literally — my butt starts to get bedsores two hours in. Plus it’s bad for my posture. Working at my desk also helps me feel more productive, like I’m actually working. It separates my fun computer time (Hulu, Google Reader, and other time wasters), which absolutely must be done in bed, from my working computer time. Some of that time is spent working for no pay, e.g., writing for Broke-Ass Stuart! You’re welcome, assholes!

I’ve lost track of the days.

I open my eyes in the morning to the sound of traffic and sometimes the loud rants of crazy people on the busy street below. I make some tea, eat something (but not too much because I don’t want to run out of food), and hit the gym. After a shower, I scour the Internet for full-time, part-time, freelance, and one-off jobs. I spend a couple-few hours applying for them. I look at my analytics and wonder why no one but someone in Brazil has viewed my website in the past three weeks. I take a nap, freak out, get drunk, and stumble home. Lather, rinse, repeat.

When every day is exactly the same, it’s easy to lose track. Do I have a therapy appointment today, or is today Wednesday? Maybe it is already the weekend, and another week has slipped by with no results. I’ve started marking an X through the previous day on my calendar each morning. I feel like a depressed cartoon character.

I’m spending much less money.

I no longer have to spend cash on lunch at the office, cabs to work, or whatever else I was apparently spending a bunch of money on while I had a job. I’m still paying my bills (so far), and I make the occasional dollar by writing for random websites. Therefore, I’m practically drowning in my riches. Well, really I’m just prolonging the amount of time I can be unemployed and not die. But that’s something, right?

Image courtesy of Mountain Television Network and Diocese of Wilmington