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How To Avoid Getting Caught With An Open Bottle In Public

Updated: Dec 09, 2019 18:00
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Disclaimer: Under the laws of the state of New York, it is against the law to possess or consume an open bottle of alcohol in a public area. Mr. Minimum Wage is not promoting or encouraging the act of drinking alcohol in public areas, outside of your home or a business establishment licensed to serve alcohol. He is simply trying to keep you from being targeted by cops trying to meet their quota for the month. Thank You.

Memorial Day weekend is currently in our rear-view mirror. This is one of two big holidays during the Spring/Summer seasons that we choose as an excuse to throw a barbecue. It’s no secret that with any large gathering that involves food like burgers and hot dogs, that alcohol will be involved. Someone attending is going to buy at least, two or three of those ridiculous 24 packs of beer, or if the party is gaining notoriety, there’s going to be someone adept at obtaining a keg of beer from one of the many wholesalers in the city. There’s just one small problem: it’s illegal in New York to drink alcohol in public (as I’m sure it is in other states across America.) Don’t worry, broke-asses, if Mr. Minimum Wage can teach you how to urinate in public and how to jump the turnstiles in New York, he can teach you how to get drunk in public.

1. Brown Paper Bags & Flasks – Okay, the brown paper bag is a timeless tradition when it comes to chugging on a few brewskis, but it’s a dead giveaway to the boys in blue. If you’d still like to rock with the paper bag make sure it’s a secluded area, and try not to bring any attention to yourself. The same applies to the flask, although it is more of a luxury and it can be easily concealed as opposed to a beer can in a brown paper bag, it’s still obvious that you’re not drinking iced tea. Just try to be discrete.

2. Cups, Water Bottles & Juice Bottles – We’ll begin with the cup. I prefer to use a cup with a lid on it, because you can conceal your beverage. I also like the satisfaction I receive from the options a cup can provide me with. I can pour either beer or liquor, and I can also concoct my own cocktail. The juice bottle can also be used in a similar manner, but you need to pick one which doesn’t easily allow others to see the contents of your drink. Then we have the clear water bottle and its limitations. It’s evident that it’ll only be able to conceal clear liquors, such as vodka, certain tequilas white rum, and white wine. (I couldn’t leave out the winos.)

3. Don’t Drink and Drive – This should be obvious, but it still needs to be said. However, if you’re just transporting alcohol by car you’ll be better off putting the alcohol in your trunk. You don’t want to give a bored police officer any excuses. Drink responsibly.

4. Be Discrete – I know I already said this, but it’s the best method of elusion. Be prepared to be attentive to police activity in the area and don’t bring any unnecessary attention to yourself. Keep the drinks low and out of sight.

I’m sure I just covered some of the essentials for drinking in public. I’m also positive that the true alcoholic is equipped with advanced methods of flooding their bloodstream with alcohol in public. If you have any other cool techniques I encourage you to share them with us. Remember, my broke brethren, the cops need a visual conformation of the open bottle or alcohol in order to hit you with a summons. Do not give them that excuse. For more details about the open bottle laws in New York you can visit this other cool blog here.

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Enrique Grijalva - Mr. Minimum Wage

Enrique Grijalva - Mr. Minimum Wage

My father came, my mother saw...and I conquered. I encourage children to do drugs, I buy alcohol for teenagers, and I drink beer with the homeless. In my spare time, I attend art galleries for the FREE booze while rubbing elbows with modish elephants. I also hammer six-inch nails into small penises. Stuart knighted me as Broke-Ass King of New York. You've been warned.