Arts and CultureNew YorkSan FranciscoSex and DatingSlider

The Best Craigslist Missed Connections from the Folsom Street Fair

The Bay's best newsletter for underground events & news

folsom-street-fair

I don’t go to the Folsom Street Fair. It comes to me. Literally, I open my front door onto it. So, Sunday was a pretty fucking insane day. I saw men dressed as firemen blowing each other (there’s a joke about hoses there). I saw people dressed as horses dragging others around on carriages. I saw a man bound, gagged, and beaten mercilessly. Basically, it was a typical Folsom Street Fair, and not something most people in the world see when they open their door in the morning.

Anyways, here are the best Craigslist Missed Connections from the festival. I wish I could make this stuff up. I’ve included the links just in case you are looking for your special little cum bucket.

ps clicking some of the links at work (or at a cafe like me right now) can be ahem…interesting…

BBC at folsom st fair – m4m

Hey you were the huge uncut bbd (ed. note: this is for Big Black Cock) I came up to it I was latino took some pics asked you to peel it baxk to see the head and you were nice enough to do so. Would love to try and handle that thing in private. Give this mostly straight dude a chance to play W some real large bbc never seen anything like it. If you know him lemme know.

Folsom Fair-I’ll see you around guy with mask – m4m – 26 (downtown / civic / van ness)

I’d like to see you around too. We were standing near 11th and Folsom with a guy selling leather mask and half mouth mask. You asked me if it was hard to wear them and how you would feel if you’d be claustrophobic or not. You were with a friend who pulled you away while we were talking.
I hope to see you again hopefully you’ll read this and I’ll see you again.

Folsom Puppy Dog Hug – m4m – 38 (downtown / civic / van ness)

To the sweet man in the puppy dog costume; your hug made me melt, I’m sure you could tell.
My sis was supposed to get a pic of me with you but all her pics ended up without my face as I was deeply into your hug. You give amazing hugs and you were incredibly huggable! I wish more people could hug like you. Real hugs!
I just wanted to say thank you for that!

good looking straight guy at folsom st fair – w4m (folsom st fair! )

you are so fucking hot! damn!!
first, you caught me taking pictures of you… later my friend grabbed you and you said- did you think I was someone else, I get that a lot. and I said- no. I know you’re the same guy I was taking pictures of earlier.
then you shocked all three of us and said- wanna see my dick real quick?
and I said- yes. yes of course I do.
you whipped it out, pulled on it a couple times, smiled and put it away.
it was an amazing exchange and I want more!!!
where are you?
who are you?
contact me!

my fingers are crossed that this works.

BART rider w/ dog. B4 Folsom & after – m4w (oakland lake merritt / grand)

The person I’m describing is a woman with multi-colored hair, slightly shorter than average, with a slim to average figure. She had with her a young small dog with a fancy new collar, and red wings. The woman was wearing black, as you might expect for someone going to Folsom.

The woman talked with me briefly on the way to Folsom, and afterwords. However she primarily engaged in conversation with one or both of my female friends. I was in another head space working on work during the first trip, and seated badly on the second. So my apologies for not being more engaging. On the return trip I was only with one of my friends, the one with the unicorn. On the initial trip the woman was joined by a male with blond hair, and a skateboard.

As for me.. I’m tall, skinny to average build, wearing black. I had a t-shirt on during the first trip, and a long sleeve button up shirt on during the second. Otherwise shit kicker boots, mismatch rainbow socks, goth kilt, shemagh, and a bag.

For why I’m reaching out.. While on the dublin / pleasanton return trip, and after I switched seats to be next to my friend. She told me that she thought you were attempting to figure out what I had on under my kilt. I didn’t want to ask you outright if that was the case because frankly the couple with the laptop across from us didn’t seem like the type to want to overhear such a thing. That’s why we were scrambling to find something to write on, and with right before you departed. So I guess the question is, were you?

 

Like this article?

Make sure to sign up for the BAS mailing list so you never miss a goddamn thing!

Previous post

The People’s Climate March: Just like a Real Protest, Except Fun and Devoid of Meaning

Next post

Ello: Ad-Free Empowerment in the Era of Social Networking


Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website BrokeAssStuart.com is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, Geek.com and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.