Latinos For Pacquiao!

Updated: May 02, 2015 10:58
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Have you been waiting hella long for this fight? I know I have. And I’m rooting for Manny. Not because I like to say his wife’s name, Jinkee. Nor because I love his singing voice. Not even because I think Mayweather is a douche bag, violent, jerk-face, SIX TIMES OVER!

It’s cuz I’m Latina, of the Mexi-clan, and we roll deep when it comes to family and roots. Manny is probably my eighth cousin three hundred times removed from my great aunt’s cousin’s uncle’s mom’s brother in-law side. Why is that? Because we all came from the quivering loins of the Spaniards! HISTORY, FOLKS! Its a bitch but it’s true…we all hail of the same colonial rapery(kinda a word) that befell both our countries. Many decades after that historical, yet forced, Spanish roll in the sac that our ancestors were victim to, our two peoples have cultivated very, very similar cultures.

You guys, we’re totally the same! Latino and Pinoy! Same but different.

1) Language: Spanish/Tagalog

  • Guapo/Gwapo – handsome
  • Television/ Telibision – television
  • Leche/Leche – milk
  • Barato/Barat – cheap
  • Puta/Putang – slut whore bag skank
  • and so many more!

I can hit on a guy, watch my novelas, quench my thirst, buy on sale and curse you out in both countries all with out a Spanish/Tagalog dictionary!

2) Food

All of it. In my mouth. Now.

All of it. In my mouth. Now.

Three words; flan, adobo and the best of all…chicharron.

Don’t nobody feed people like Latinos and Filipinos. You will never eat as much food as you do at any given event thrown by our people. There is also no accommodating vegetarians at these meals. Ya’ll can eat rice and beans but make sure there’s no pork in it because its the our main ingredient for nearly every dish we make. No joke. Don’t forget to take a plate home! There’s foil on the table.

3) The Struggle is Real:

Si se puede!

Si se puede!

Both our people have battled the oppression of being farm workers. Activist Larry Itliong joined Cesar Chavez to form the United Farm Workers and stood for workers rights and enacted the great significant Grape Boycott movement.  I still can’t eat grapes without feeling hella guilty about my Mexi-people getting cancer from pesticide sprays. The man stood for worker’s rights and especially Filipino rights. You can’t keep the brown people down!!!

4) Catholicism

Whose parents have this at home! (raises hand)

Whose parents have an altar at home!?! (raises hand)

Jesus! Yeah, he’s our savior. He’s our homie. He’s our everything. So is Mary. Both of our peoples revere her as the great “Mother” of all.  Our devotion to the mother of god is intense and deep rooted.  We pray to Jesus and Mary to pass along or hopes and petitions to God. They’re the bouncers to the VIP lounge of heaven. If you’re in with them…you’re IN. You still gotta pay cover though (purgatory) and wait in line(life). This whole paragraph is way sacrilegious but Jesus will forgive me.  My bad Son of God!

5) Large families

That's only half of us...

That’s only half of us…

If you take half of my family and switch them with any Filipino family no one will notice. I truly believe that. We are abundant and breed like rabbits. What’s birth control? And we have at least 5 names on our birth certificates. And if we don’t know a particular older woman or man at the party we default to labeling them as and Aunt or Uncle – just in case.

Is it a coincidence that the fight is just a few days before Cinco de Mayo? I think not!

Or that Tecate is the largest sponsor at $5.6 million? OBVS!

Or that the Mexican Tourism Board is another of the main event sponsors? See?!?!

Dale Duro Manny!!!

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Jay H - Bawdy Broadcaster

Jay H - Bawdy Broadcaster

Bay Area native. Oldest girl in a very large extended Mexican family. Studied Art History at UC Berkeley and of course I became a Nonprofit Marketing Consultant! Never married. No kids. Serial dater and and expert at the 'hang out' version of dating. Moved out of crazy expensive SF to Oakland and LOVING it! Loves sports. All of them. Except golf. Oh, and rhythmic gymnastics.