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Solidarity to the Woman Who also had Her Car Crapped in – m4w

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When I googled “poop in car” this is the least disgusting image that showed up. Trust me. (image from youtube)

I was at Shalaco‘s house the other night and his roommate, Praveen, came in and hung out with us for awhile. Apparently back in 2009 Praveen put up this utterly amazing Craigslist Missed Connection and it went viral and made it to Best of Craigslist. And now he said I can share it with you. Oh man…

When I smelled and retched at the surprise that had been left in my broken in car, I knew instantly that I could google for “shit in my car” and that I would find someone in San Francisco that had had this terrible thing happen to them as well. And sure enough, you are the first hit when said terms are googled for (a best of CL no less, I would post the URL for you convenience, but the TOS bars that). ONLY in San Francisco is having your car shit in a common enough experience that you could form an online support group for it. This was definitely one of the lower points of my life that I don’t tweet or broadcast, the only other incident was being sexiled out of the hotel room in Manhattan that I had paid by a girl that I was chasing who decided to hook up with someone else at the same conference.

I read your post and I felt an immediate solidarity with you. My poor Honda Civic has been through a lot, really the gamut of auto drama that life in San Francisco can bring: broken into more times than I care to recall, towed and held hostage in the city tow lots, borrowed by housemates who decide pack their whole stash of weed in plain sight get high and then commit a hit and run and get pulled over, getting inundated in dust storms at burning man… One time I even forgot to lock my car after parking it in the Tenderloin and found somebody sleeping in it when I got back. But this one truly tops it off 🙁

Like you, oh anonymous poster, I’m a real softie — I give money, food, cigarettes and if I’m particularly drunk even carry on conversations to all the people on the street in my neighborhood. I know their stories and half of them by name, and I know that almost all of these characters are really nice people. But like the anonymous poster, this time I feel more withdrawn, not just from the streets of the city, but people around me. I know it will pass in a couple of days, but I know somewhere out there a person that crapped in my car for absolutely no other reason (there was NOTHING to steal in my car) than they could :(. Could you really be so malicious as to shit in the driver’s seat, barring me from moving the car and avoiding a ticket when the street cleaning comes about?

Here is my post of solidarity to you, woman who also had her car shit in. If by chance you see this posting, maybe you can drop me a line and I can take you out to coffee and you can show me your cute fetish boots, and I’ll show you my cute hair braids, and we can transform this difficult experience into a magical synchronicity that we wouldn’t trade the world for — the type of experience that can happen ONLY in San Francisco.

Oh and even if you aren’t this mystery poster, but you have had similar fecal experiences, feel free to reply and relate, I’d love to hear your stories.

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.