I just drank the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino and puked a rainbow
OFF MENU IS SPONSORED BY BENDER’S BECAUSE THEY ARE BADASS. DROP BY AND MAKE SOME BAD DECISIONS WITH SOME GOOD PEOPLE!
Welcome to, “We ate it, so you don’t have to.”
A sign that says, “Only available if you believe,” sat and judged me while I approached the barista with a look of shame on my face. You’d think the first thing out of my mouth would have been a phrase of acknowledgment, but instead I said, “Please, don’t hate me.”
While the #unicorn phenom is currently taking Instagram by storm (because you know, #eatingfortheinsta), Starbucks was smart to bank in on it. Of course, the demographic is primarily young girls. Imagine the barista’s surprise when a 36-year-old, brown, round, woman with grey hairs ordered up this limited edition sugary drink. I watched while the pissed off barista started on the Unicorn. It was a lot less involved than I anticipated. A little bit of milk, some raspberry-colored powder, some pumps of flavoring, a long squirt of blue gunk on the inside rim of the cup, a blitz in the Vitamix, topped with whipped cream and a sprinkling of fairy dust. Boom. I opted for the small. But, the obviously unteenaged dude behind me, went balls out and ordered a large. I was impressed.
And sugary it was. I only lasted five sips of this skittles-flavored concoction before I passed out in my GTI from a diabetic coma. When I came to, I puked a rainbow in the parking lot.
Howdy! My name is Katy Atchison and I'm an Associate Editor for Broke-Ass Stuart.
I want to take the time to say thank you for supporting independent news media by reading BrokeAssstuart.com. Supporting independent news sources like Broke-Ass Stuart is vital to supporting our community because it amplifies the voices of a wide variety of diverse opinions. You also help support small businesses and local artists by sharing stories from Broke-Ass Stuart.
Because you're one of our supporters, I wanted to send over a pro-tip.
Our bi-weekly newsletter is a great way to get round ups of Broke-Ass Stuart stories, learn about new businesses in The Bay Area, find out about fun local events and be first in line for giveaways.
If you’d like to get our newsletter, signup right here, it takes 5 seconds.