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How to Properly Dispose E-Scooters

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Like any good citizen, you want to dispose of your e-scooters quickly and safely, but you also want to be friendly to the environment.  So what do you do?  Well, you follow our handy, socially conscious, complete guide to properly disposing e-scooters.

How to Recycle your E-scooter

The city and the e-scooter companies have been working very hard to find a solution to the e-scooter problem, and in response to public demand, they have placed escooter docking stations all over the city for your convenience.  When you see an e-scooter on the sidewalk, calmly walk up to it, pick it up, and place it on the nearest docking station, also known as a ‘scootypods’ (they’re still focus grouping that title).

If a docking station does not have the recycling symbol on it, simply slot the scooter through the top of the docking station like pictured above.

We are no longer throwing e-scooter into Lake Merritt

You have to fight your instincts on this one.  We know it feels natural to throw e-scooters into a body of water instead of stepping over them on the sidewalk, but you mustn’t act on those impulses.  Instead, we recommend a creative outlet, you can make scooter art!

Calmly let other citizens know of the problem

We are no longer throwing e-scooters into the Bay!

That’s right.  Foreign objects containing large batteries do not belong in our waterways.  DO NOT throw your e-scooter into the bay…again.  To help citizens remember what to do when they’ve finished using their escooters, they’ve released a PSA with a catchy acronym:

When you’re done riding an escooter, always remember to D.U.M.P

Don’t panic

Understand that you are part of the problem

Mobilize your legs

Place escooter in the trash

Bay Area Escooter docking stations are located all over the city

Other interesting things citizens are doing with escooter that we do not recommend

 

*This article is satire. BrokeAssStuart.com is not responsible, if you have no sense of humor.

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Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managin' editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. When we're not writing, editing, or publishing articles, Stuart and I are promoting the good things in SF & NYC.

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