Melania’s New ‘Renovated’ White House Rose Garden Already Falling Apart After Only 17 Days

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Nothing says “Trump” quite like an overpriced and unnecessary construction job where contracts are directed towards cronies, and shit starts falling apart mere weeks after the job is completed. Yet another example of terrible Trump workmanship has come to light, as CNN reports that Melania Trump’s new renovated White House Rose Garden is already falling apart and under repairs, barely two weeks after its official unveiling.

According to CNN sources, the new Rose Garden is having “issues with water drainage” (drain the swamp, indeed) and “some minor complications with updated construction.” They add that new sod is also being laid down.

This Rose Garden is the exact location where Melania Trump gave her GOP convention speech in a military-coup blazer and skirt dress. CNN adds the hilarious detail that the brand new garden and lawn were secretly already crumbling and coming apart that night, unbeknownst to television viewers.

“Melania Trump held her Republican National Convention speech from the Rose Garden in front of approximately 75 seated guests on August 25,” CNN reports. “For that event, the grass of the Rose Garden was too muddy to host an audience due to lack of drainage from heavy rain storms, thus a ‘turf’ lawn was put down over the grass instead.”

CNN did not get comment on how long repairs are expected to last. But for now, the new White House Rose Garden renovation is going about as well as a Trump boat parade.

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.