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SF Museum of Ice Cream Melts Down, Closes Permanently

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Image: Museum of Ice Cream

Infantile “immersive experience” and sprinkle pollution scofflaw the Museum of Ice Cream arrived in San Francisco in 2017. But nearly four years to the day after its arrival, the SF Museum of Ice Cream is in the can. The SF Business Times reports that the San Francisco Museum of Ice Cream has closed permanently, with no formal announcement.

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But just like the kind of people who would go to the Museum of Ice Cream, it is moving to Austin, TX. Their website makes it look like the Austin location is already open, but the ticket page indicates it won’t open until August 21.

According to the Business Times, “Signage at the landmark Savings Union Bank building at 1 Grant Ave., its permanent home since 2018, was taken down and within the last week the San Francisco address has been scrubbed from its website. Users on Yelp and Tripadvisor had reported the attraction as permanently closed.” The Business Times then “confirmed the permanent closure via Instagram message on Friday.”

The original New York Museum of Ice Cream opened in 2016 (that one’s still open), the SF location kicked off the horsehit “selfie museum” craze targeted toward people who are more interested in looking at themselves than looking at real art. It utilized the “one-way through” concept, which is code for “hurry up and get the fuck out,” because you weren’t really free to roam the exhibits of this alleged museum. Wealthy rich kid inheritee Museum of Ice Cream founder Maryellis Bunn told the Observer in 2019 that she “wants to be the Walt Disney of her generation,” and actually conned investors into believing a $200 million valuation. She said wishes that instead of calling it a museum, she had called an “experium,” which is exactly how wealthy  rich kid inheritees think. 

Wealthy rich kid inheritees also tend to fuck up their Black Lives Matter displays in spectacularly tone-deaf fashion. As reported by Forbes last summer, the Museum of Ice Cream “erected a bubblegum pink mural in front of the MOIC flagship store in Soho, one ostensibly meant to support Black Lives Matter. Hundreds of Instagram users called the stunt tonedeaf, criticizing the choice to use MOIC’s signature pink instead of black, and for misspelling the name of Ahmaud Arbery, a slain, unarmed Black man.”

The loss of the Museum of Ice Cream is not a significant cultural loss. If you feel it is, we’d love to introduce you to the real ice cream culture of Mitchell’s, Bi-Rite, Curbside Creamery, and the best ice cream shops in the Bay Area.

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Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura- Millionaire in Training

Joe Kukura is a two-bit marketing writer who excels at the homoerotic double-entendre. He is training to run a full marathon completely drunk and high, and his work has appeared in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal on days when their editors made particularly curious decisions.

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