Sideshows Are Here To Stay So Stop Complaining
If you can’t handle sideshows, you can’t handle life in the Bay Area.
I know that may sound harsh, and I get that sideshows are unsafe and can be incredibly annoying, but they’re not going anywhere, so what’s the point in endlessly complaining about them? At least once a week there’s some random news station in the Bay that runs a segment on a sideshow that happened somewhere and it’s always the same story. They pull clips of sideshows (usually in Oakland) from Youtube and they explain to the audience what a sideshow is which is pretty fucking redundant if you’ve been in Northern California for more than 5 minutes. After that they cut to a person expressing their concern that the police aren’t doing enough to combat sideshows in whatever city the particular sideshow that the news is covering happened in. It’s boring and there’s not really a solution. So just deal with it.
The cops in the Bay can barely solve serious crimes let alone deal with an army of people dead set on destroying their tires.
I don’t spin my car around in circles, shoot a gun in the air or wear True Religion jeans for no reason, but I’ve accepted that some people do. The cops in the Bay can barely solve serious crimes let alone deal with an army of people dead set on destroying their tires. This is especially true if you live in the urban core of the Bay Area. So just let it go.
If you live in the Bay Area, but you’re from somewhere else, especially if you’re highly educated with a graduate degree, just understand you made the choice to be here. You can take your highly skilled ass anywhere. You can live in New York City where people take the subway and base their entire personality on the quality of pizza they didn’t make. You can live in Los Angeles and get stuck in a perpetual traffic jam with aspiring TikTokers who effortlessly look better than you. You can freeze to death in Chicago. You can go to Portland or Seattle and scream about how weird you are in a room filled with white people who aren’t weird at all. You can go to Austin and wear a cowboy hat and pretend that Texas isn’t a gigantic piece of shit. You can go to Atlanta and begin your rap career. I’m just saying you have options.
Driving like a moron is ingrained in Bay Area culture. Playing Mac Dre loudly at an intersection while 40 other cars rev their engines obnoxiously is just how shit is here. If you can’t handle a 17 year old screaming “fuck 12” at the top of his lungs seconds before being hit by a car driven by his cousin who is 32 and doesn’t have a driver’s license, then you can’t hang.
Even if the activity is dumb, it’s uniquely Bay Area. It started here. It’s just like when graffiti covered the New York City subway system in the 1970s and ’80s. People complained, but in the grand scheme of things, their complaints didn’t matter. The legacy of that era matters and influenced the world to do their own versions of it. Which, honestly, is pretty fucking cool.
However, if you want to complain, complain about how we have so many people on the street when we could house them if we had to the political will to do so. Complain about that. Sideshows have been around since at least the ’90s, they’re here to stay.
This song came out in 2006. It’s 2022 and it’s still happening. You’re not gonna stop shit.
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