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San Francisco’s ChatGPT Is Going To Take Your Job!

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There’s a saying that perfectly describes the Cyberpunk subgenre of Science Fiction, it’s ‘high tech, low life.’ 

Most Cyberpunk stories depict sprawling urban centers where a rich elite controls everything, most people are poor, yet they have a multitude of gadgets or enhancements to distract from the dystopia they’re living in. One of the reasons why there is such a divide in these stories is that many of the jobs that humans have relied on for upward mobility, specifically white collar jobs, have been replaced by technology and blue collar workers have been displaced and completely decimated. 

OpenAI, a San Francisco-based tech company (it’s in the fucking Mission) has a new artificial intelligence program that some are reporting could replace 40% of the world’s jobs in the next 15 years. 

Even Google is nervous, as they feel ChatGPT could essentially replace them or at least severely diminish their dominance. 

What makes ChatGPT so scary that even the almighty Google is shaking in their boots? Well, unlike Google, which is essentially just a really fast search engine, ChatGPT is a chatbot that will reportedly read every book in the world by 2027 and can access this information at a second’s notice. But that’s not even the craziest part. It can convey and interpret this information in the exact way a human can. In other words, it can write papers, code software, and essentially do anything an office worker can do, but much faster and cheaper. 

Of course the thing that’s going to ruin everyone’s life is from San Francisco. Of fucking course it is. 

And before the hipster and artist crowd roll their eyes and laugh at the misfortune of the white collar corporate fucks they hate, well, I have news for you. It can create art and articles like this, too. You could literally tell ChatGPT to write an article about the Golden Gate Bridge in the style of Broke-Ass Stuart and it would because it would read all of Stuart’s stories, find his style and replicate it at a moment’s notice. 

It can do the same to me or anyone else with a significant online presence. Is it perfect? No, ChatGPT’s jokes fall flat, but it’s new, with time, this stupid fucking bot may actually be able to make funny jokes because it’s literally pulling from every joke ever told that has been documented. 

Creatively this fucking sucks, but economically it REALLY SUCKS. America is capitalist, as we all know. Our social safety nets, as illustrated by our poor reaction to the pandemic, barely fucking exist. We don’t really have safety nets, it’s more like a spider web that you get tangled up in. And while you’re tangled in the mess that is the bureaucracy of American social services, people will hate you for no reason other than someone on Fox news told them too. 

If we don’t pass substantial laws to limit this technology’s use or guarantee a universal basic income, we’re fucked. I know SF and Silicon Valley are all about the future and progress, but you’re progressively pushing us off a fucking cliff. 

Maybe chill?

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Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff is an Oakland-based writer, editor and digital content creator known for Bay Area Memes, a local meme page that has amassed nearly 200k followers. His work has appeared in SFGATE, The Bold Italic and of course, BrokeAssStuart.com. His book of short stories, personal essays and poetry entitled Don't Drown on Dry Ground is available now!