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The Adidas Store Is Closing In San Francisco

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San Francisco has seamlessly transitioned from the tech capital of the world to a clout pinata for click farming. Every single media organization on the planet announces the death of every unnecessary chain store to shut its doors downtown as if it’s an obituary to a beloved humanitarian. 

From the somber tone of these reports, you’d think the Adidas store on Market Street was Harvey fuckin’ Milk or something. 

I’m going to be honest with you: no one in the history of the planet has come to San Francisco specifically for the Adidas store. It’s just not what people come to the city to do. When you look at SF as a whole, and you assess the problems facing the West Coast’s only true metropolitan city, I sincerely doubt that lack of sneakers would appear on the list of things to fix. 

If you truly need the Adidas store experience, as diligently noted by SFGATE, you’re going to have to drive to Livermore, which is the appropriate place for an Adidas store. 

Cities are defined by their uniqueness, not because they have larger, shinier versions of things sold in suburbia. I’ve stated this multiple times. If you want San Francisco to thrive, let shit that doesn’t exist anywhere else exist there. People will come to see it. For example, you know how the Golden Gate Bridge is a tourist attraction? Well, the reason why it’s a tourist attraction is because you can’t see it in Utah. You know what you can see and buy in Utah, or literally anywhere else on the planet? Adidas. 

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This isn’t shade to Adidas. I’m wearing Adidas track pants right now. I look like a bloated Eastern European guy looking for the next spot to squat. I feel fucking fantastic. Love me some Adidas. I even like the Korn song and Run DMC. Nothing wrong with the three stripes. Also they have wide options for big foot mother fuckers like myself. You know who doesn’t? Nike. You know what both Nike and Adidas do have in common, though? Their shoes are professionally made by children in various developing countries scattered around Asia

Not great.

I have a prediction for you. Are you ready for this mind-shattering prediction? This prediction is pretty unpredictable, but here goes nothin’: More chain stores are going to close in San Francisco as well as in other central cities. Do you know why? Because the internet exists and people can get the shoes sent to their door usually for less than what is offered at brick and mortar stores. Also remote work is a thing, not just in SF, but everywhere. You no longer have people forced into overcrowded downtowns. This is going to happen. Everywhere. It’s boring. It’s not news. 

Instead of trying to live in the past, let’s celebrate the infinite possibilities of the future. Downtown San Francisco has an opportunity to defy its reputation as a shopping hub and transform it into a neighborhood, and there’s no better news than that. I’m becoming a glass half full kinda guy. Or maybe I just like to see corporations fail. Who knows? Who cares? No one. That’s my point. 





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Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff is an Oakland-based writer, editor and digital content creator known for Bay Area Memes, a local meme page that has amassed nearly 200k followers. His work has appeared in SFGATE, The Bold Italic and of course, His book of short stories, personal essays and poetry entitled Don't Drown on Dry Ground is available now!