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Oakland International Airport Might Change Its Name…

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While San Francisco continues to get beaten to death in the mainstream press, its neighbor across the Bay is considering changing the name of its airport to better represent their proximity to what some in the American media zeitgeist refer to as Hell on earth. Because no matter how bad SF is perceived to be, Oakland is always looked at as worse. And after The Daily Mail referred to the immediate area around Oakland airport as “the most dangerous square mile in America” it’s not surprising that the city is looking for a rebrand. 

But will it help? Probably not, but doing something makes you feel better than doing nothing, I guess.  

Currently Oakland’s airport is called the Metropolitan Oakland International Airport. This name makes sense. It’s an airport. This airport is located in Oakland, California. Oakland is located in a major metropolitan area. This airport has international flights. So the name makes sense, but one thing the current name fails to mention is that Oakland is next to San Francisco. Which isn’t as much of a flex as it was a few years ago, but something’s gotta give. So they’re considering taking the “metropolitan” out and adding “San Francisco Bay” into the name. So, if this does happen, the airport will be called San Francisco Bay Oakland International Airport. 

Which sounds kinda dumb, but whatever. 

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Most people in the public don’t really care either way. I doubt San Franciscans and Oaklanders are sitting in their houses debating airport names, but Scott Wiener doesn’t seem to care too much for the OAK’s potential rebranding saying on X “I love Oakland” (I sincerely doubt that) “but Oakland is Oakland. It’s not San Francisco. Oakland’s airport should not be cutting & pasting San Francisco International Airport into its name. Please find another way to turn things around.” 

I get what he’s saying, but honestly, who gives a fuck? You wanna know a secret? SFO isn’t in San Francisco, it’s actually south of Daly City! DUN DUN DUN! SFO is 13 miles away from Downtown San Francisco, OAK is 19 miles from downtown San Francisco, that’s a difference of just 6 miles. The Airport also sits on San Francisco Bay, so the name is kinda accurate. You could argue it’s more accurate because the part of Oakland that the airport is in isn’t really what comes to mind when you say words like “Metropolitan.”

I’m kidding. Hegenberger Road and the rest of Deep East Oakland gives big metropolitan “Sex In The City” vibes. Just maybe not in the way you’re imagining.

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Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff is an Oakland-based writer, editor and digital content creator known for Bay Area Memes, a local meme page that has amassed nearly 200k followers. His work has appeared in SFGATE, The Bold Italic and of course, BrokeAssStuart.com. His book of short stories, personal essays and poetry entitled Don't Drown on Dry Ground is available now!