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Why Juggalos Are San Francisco’s Last Hope

Updated: Jun 11, 2024 15:47
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Juggalo March on Washington DC – Credit: WaeDC

San Francisco foolishly entrusted their future with Skrillex, and he FAILED. I’m kidding, the Skrillex show went fine. I’ve been trolling his fans all week. I don’t think Skrillex will save the city. But fret not, San Francisco. The ‘doom loop’ won’t last forever, and I know exactly how to end it. Downtown San Francisco should host The Gathering of The Juggalos. Because no fanbase is more loyal than the Juggalos. 

I would know, I am one. 

I grew up listening to and loving all things Psychopathic Records. While I’m not familiar with ICP’s newest stuff, anything from the Carnival of Carnage up until the Tempest, I know every word to. I love Twiztid too. Fuck the fallout between the two groups. Dark Lotus for life! If you know, you know. It’s also time for Bay Area Juggalos to come out of the clown closet. I know you guys exist, but you don’t want to be ridiculed. Fuck that. Hold your hatchet high. 

I’m not trolling. Ask yourself this question: What would you rather have Downtown – feces and fentanyl or Faygo and facepaint? (See what I did there? I lied about San Francisco to make it sound worse than it is for my own agenda. I’M A REAL JOURNALIST.) 

My fucking point exactly. 

Also Juggalos don’t gentrify. They’re incapable of it. We’re reliably one of the few groups of white people who are absolutely horrible for property values. You know what Silicon Valley VCs and NIMBYs don’t want to see? White trash in clown makeup, covered in budget soda screaming “Whoop Whoop!”

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This may seem absurd to say, but San Francisco and the Insane Clown Posse actually share similar values. I’m not kidding. ICP has always been against racism, classism and police brutality since the very beginning. In 1991, on ICP’s debut album (or first Joker’s Card for people in the know) there were songs like “Your Rebel Flag” where the duo rapped about killing racists. Also, more radio Friendly songs like “Homies” are about comradery and accepting people from all walks of life. 

I credit the Insane Clown Posse as my gateway to class consciousness, and they also made me feel less alone when I was a kid. I was angry and didn’t understand why things were the way they were, but, in all honesty, ICP pointed my ire in the right direction, and I’ll always be grateful for that. 

The Gathering of the Juggalos is a 4 day event that would put 10,000 weirdos into the heart of San Francisco. San Francisco is into that, right?  San Francisco’s lore is that the City is made for weirdos to express themselves? Prove it. Whenever I’m there, I see rich people, autonomous vehicles and human misery. Let’s allow actual outcasts to have the City for a few days. 

The Insane Clown Posse has been called the “World’s Most Hated Band.” And, if you believe the mainstream media, San Francisco is America’s most hated city. So, why not team up? London Breed has been wasting her time trying to give tax incentives to A.I. companies, traveling to Europe to entice Europeans to visit, and closing down liquor stores in federally recognized food deserts as a deterrent to drug dealers. But none of it has worked thus far. So, in my humble opinion, there’s only one thing left to do:

Send in the clowns. 

I know the Insane Clown Posse has problematic and violent lyrics, but if you have ever wanted to understand more about the Juggalo world, check out this song:






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Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff - Bay Area Memelord

Abraham Woodliff is an Oakland-based writer, editor and digital content creator known for Bay Area Memes, a local meme page that has amassed nearly 200k followers. His work has appeared in SFGATE, The Bold Italic and of course, His book of short stories, personal essays and poetry entitled Don't Drown on Dry Ground is available now!