Ten-Foot Python Retrieved At Bay Area Sideshow
Vallejo Police Car Door – Credit: Ron Cogswell
One thing you can say about sideshows is that they’re never predictable. And as the Vallejo Police Department figured out even ten-foot pythons get hyphy every now and then.
According to the Vallejo Police Department, authorities received multiple reports around 11:12 p.m. on Friday regarding a sideshow involving approximately 500 vehicles in the city. Witnesses reported that participants were blocking traffic, shining lasers into the eyes of other drivers, and performing reckless stunts.
The situation escalated when occupants of a Cadillac directed a laser at police officers, prompting authorities to initiate a traffic stop. The driver of the Cadillac, however, fled the scene, leading police on a 10-mile (16 km) pursuit that concluded in Hercules. There, the driver and three passengers abandoned the vehicle and fled on foot.
The driver was arrested on multiple charges, including felony evading, while the passengers received misdemeanor citations for their involvement. The police have not yet clarified how the python came to be in the vehicle or whether it was involved in the sideshow activities.
I personally think snakes should become a fixture at sideshows. I can almost picture a spiritual sequel to the greatest film of all time, Samuel L Jackson’s “Snakes On A Plane” called “Snakes At The Sideshow.” Samuel L. Jackson and E-40 play hardboiled detectives on the tough streets of the Bay Area trying to find the source of a new drug called “venom” only to discover the drug is being smuggled in by snakes and sold at sideshows. This discovery makes Samuel L Jackson say “I’m tired of all these mutha’ fuckin’ snakes at these mutha’ fuckin’ sideshows!” To which E-40 replies with a simple, yet powerful “OOOUUU.”
This makes me almost want to move back to Vallejo. Oakland’s sideshows don’t have snakes.
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