Nut-cracking, Hot Buttered Fun & Free Buffet Tonight at Twin Peaks Tavern

As the holidays go on Castro Street, certain places have become mainstays as December draws to a close.  The Midnight Sun, aside from its nefarious happy hour, is also know for its ornate holiday train installation, which managed to survive the recent overhaul.  The windows in Cliff’s Variety showcase all your shopping needs in irreverent detail.  The Castro Theatre screams with the sound of would-be Tyrolean governesses, and then there’s Twin Peaks.

No, the geographical landmark doesn’t magically sprout fake snow and candy canes, but its namesaked watering hole sure as hell does.

I could be wrong, but it seems that since the demise of Marlena’s in Hayes Valley, Twin Peaks has stepped up their homage to the season.  For those of you unfortunate to have never enjoyed the sheer tinseled terror that was Marlena’s at Christmastime, Marlena herself was rather fond of jolly old Saint Nick and thusly lined every square inch of her tight-quartered bar with the elfin bishop of Myra every December.  It was a sight to behold as you clutched your goblet of fire and nervously watched the red reflections of cigarette coals from the smoking lounge flicker and dance on the nearby glistening, flammable whiskers.

Twin Peaks oeuvre is not Father Christmas, however, and instead they turn their bar into a wooden armory of nutcrackers.  In every direction eyes and smiles of intense glee and van dyke beards’ll greet you.  Twin Peaks already kind of feels like if you’re grandmother decided to get in on the hooch game, so a massive infantry of nut men works well with Tiffany lamps and dainty glassware- their intent stares daring you to order something obnoxious or give them lip.

Another tradition that they keep and is pretty much elsewhere extinct, happens this evening as they open the bar to one and all with a lovely FREE buffet included in the price of a cocktail.  Knock back a few Irish coffees paired with tidbits of all sorts

But be warned, these old dears are also old pros, so be mindful of those deceptively cute little glass thimbles of hot buttered rum you suck down.  You start getting sassy and you’ll feel the backhand of the Dutch doors before nary a rumaki you have in your mouth.

Twin Peaks Tavern Annual Holiday Party
Tuesday, December 16, 2014  5:00 p.m.- 7:00 p.m.
401 Castro Street (@ 17^th Street)
[Castro/ Eureka Valley]
SF