Lil’ Schatzie lived on top of the Deli counter for many years, smiling and greeting customers daily. Her bloody apron covered her pink sparkly evening gown, and with her white silky meat-stained evening gloves, she held that knife of hers up proud and high, even though she had a chunk ‘o Headcheese dangling from her stiletto heel below. No one noticed the tiny tear trickling down her cheek.

The masterminds behind the Mission district Wise Sons Jewish Delicatessen no longer want to outsource their bagels from Oakland’s Beauty’s Bagel Shop. I mean shit, they’re Jewish…make your own damn bagels, am I right?

As 2024 winds down, we’re reflecting on another incredible year of sharing the stories, art, culture, and nightlife that make the Bay Area so unique. BrokeAssStuart.com wouldn’t be what it is without you—our community of readers, supporters, and believers in independent media. This year, instead of asking you to join Patreon

 Canned Tuna  While most people may find canned tuna a bit repulsive and unattractive due to the obvious fact that it is a canned food, I happen to have fallen for it. It has saved my soul on various occasions. Just grab some mayo and maybe 2 slices of toast

I live right by San Francisco’s Little Russia but have never really believed in it. Yeah, there are those huge gold onion domes on the Russian Orthodox church and the occasional sign in Cyrillic. The ratio of scarf-wearing little old ladies to anyone else might be a good indicator, but

Did you ever think there was anything cheap in the North Bay? Sure enough, there is this amazing supermarket in San Rafael close to the canal called Mi Pueblo — it is pretty much like the Mexican Disneyland of all supermarkets. It is bigger than any Safeway I’ve ever been

Got a hankering for a monstrous sandwich? Got a broke-ass party that needs catering? Fresh out of Hennessy? Sammy’s on 2nd can solve all of your problems. Sammy’s is, for all intents and purposes, a full service deli. First and foremost, Sammy’s is a deli that serves up everything from

Oh my God, you guys. Did you hear about this? This is kinda major. Like, new-Rococop-movie level major. When I budget out my life I can always count on a few common red lines. Biggest one is booze, naturally, but a perpetual deficit is my love of coffee. Now, thanks

When I first moved to New York, I remember walking to the nearest deli in search of butter or anything resembling butter that I could find on my block.  Hidden behind crumbling Dominican wedding cakes and varieties of beef jerky I hadn’t even heard of ( a rare thing indeed),