Eric Barry

11 Apr 2013

Full Disclosure: I Shit on a First Date

  All debate over whether or not there was any merit in writing this article ended for me when I still laughed-out-loud after the tenth time of running the premise through my head. Let’s face it: everybody poops. Some people even do it soft-serve-style into cups (NSFW, but oh so tempting to

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 2
03 Apr 2013

Full Disclosure: If You Don’t Buy Me a Drink, I Won’t Date You

If I hear a woman talk about chivalry being dead one more time, I’m going to take her to dinner and not pay for it. Then I’m going to make a pee-puddle and put her cardigan over it so I don’t get my heels wet. OKCupid has provided me with

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 3
18 Feb 2020

The Delicious Card: Rad Deals at 30+ SF Restaurants

I am extremely excited to announce the release of The Delicious Card! Delicious cardholders get awesome deals at over 30 of your favorite SF eateries! Membership is a great way to explore new places, support local businesses, and support local journalism.

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
20 Mar 2013

Full Disclosure: I’m Going to Circumcise My Son

If I ever have a son, I am going to circumcise him. *cleans out inbox to make room for fun emails* I remember the first time I heard the word circumcision. I was in fourth grade, and it was the first year students at my elementary school were allowed to take

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 3
13 Mar 2013

Full Disclosure: I Was Raped

I can’t tell if I’m waking up or just going to sleep. My drunken stupor has muffled my senses, each coming in and out of focus in a kaleidoscope of sound and touch. I slowly begin to ascend the tiers of sobriety, and as I do, my senses return. There is sound.

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 1
28 Feb 2013

Full Disclosure: I Want to Go Down on You

Before I even had much sense of what oral sex was (“it’s when you say naughty things into someone else’s ear,” my fellow 6th grader assured me), I knew that going down on a girl was something very unpleasant, something that smelled like fish (turns out Chicken of the Sea is

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 3
26 Feb 2013

2-for-1 tickets to comedian Chris Fairbanks tonight at Milk

Tonight comedian Chris Fairbanks (Comedy Central, Conan, Jimmy Kimmel Live!) will be performing on the weekly show I run at Milk. I’ve been a huge fan of Chris for years now, so getting the chance to perform with him on stage is incredibly exciting for me. Since I still eat pizza out

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 0
13 Feb 2013

Cheap Dates: Eat Your Heart Out

I hate Valentine’s Day. Sure, I’m a hopeless romantic who usually spends every February 14th alone doing Jell-O shots in my chaise while eating bacon-fried bacon and masturbating to re-runs of Breaking Bad, but I retain the comfort of knowing Internet Girlfriend will never leave nor punch me in the face. The real reason

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 1
06 Feb 2013

Cheap Dates: Case of Mistaken Identity

People frequently mistake me for being gay. Certainly much more than they mistake me for being a comedian. But despite the fact that I studied theater in college while working at the Gap, living in the co-ops and sucking dick on the side for money, I am neither gay nor bisexual.

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 0