Eric Barry

11 Apr 2013

Full Disclosure: I Shit on a First Date

  All debate over whether or not there was any merit in writing this article ended for me when I still laughed-out-loud after the tenth time of running the premise through my head. Let’s face it: everybody poops. Some people even do it soft-serve-style into cups (NSFW, but oh so tempting to

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 2
03 Apr 2013

Full Disclosure: If You Don’t Buy Me a Drink, I Won’t Date You

If I hear a woman talk about chivalry being dead one more time, I’m going to take her to dinner and not pay for it. Then I’m going to make a pee-puddle and put her cardigan over it so I don’t get my heels wet. OKCupid has provided me with

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 3
17 Jun 2022

The San Francisco Beer Passport is Here!

Step into a world of adventure with the San Francisco Beer Passport. There’s no better way to explore San Francisco than to literally drink it in. This passport is amazing! Each one contains 37 coupons to buy one beer, get a second beer FREE at 37 of the finest locally owned bars,

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
20 Mar 2013

Full Disclosure: I’m Going to Circumcise My Son

If I ever have a son, I am going to circumcise him. *cleans out inbox to make room for fun emails* I remember the first time I heard the word circumcision. I was in fourth grade, and it was the first year students at my elementary school were allowed to take

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 3
13 Mar 2013

Full Disclosure: I Was Raped

I can’t tell if I’m waking up or just going to sleep. My drunken stupor has muffled my senses, each coming in and out of focus in a kaleidoscope of sound and touch. I slowly begin to ascend the tiers of sobriety, and as I do, my senses return. There is sound.

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 1
28 Feb 2013

Full Disclosure: I Want to Go Down on You

Before I even had much sense of what oral sex was (“it’s when you say naughty things into someone else’s ear,” my fellow 6th grader assured me), I knew that going down on a girl was something very unpleasant, something that smelled like fish (turns out Chicken of the Sea is

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 3
26 Feb 2013

2-for-1 tickets to comedian Chris Fairbanks tonight at Milk

Tonight comedian Chris Fairbanks (Comedy Central, Conan, Jimmy Kimmel Live!) will be performing on the weekly show I run at Milk. I’ve been a huge fan of Chris for years now, so getting the chance to perform with him on stage is incredibly exciting for me. Since I still eat pizza out

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 0
13 Feb 2013

Cheap Dates: Eat Your Heart Out

I hate Valentine’s Day. Sure, I’m a hopeless romantic who usually spends every February 14th alone doing Jell-O shots in my chaise while eating bacon-fried bacon and masturbating to re-runs of Breaking Bad, but I retain the comfort of knowing Internet Girlfriend will never leave nor punch me in the face. The real reason

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 1
06 Feb 2013

Cheap Dates: Case of Mistaken Identity

People frequently mistake me for being gay. Certainly much more than they mistake me for being a comedian. But despite the fact that I studied theater in college while working at the Gap, living in the co-ops and sucking dick on the side for money, I am neither gay nor bisexual.

Eric Barry - Starving Fartist 0