Win A Weekend in the Hamptons

Q: What does a Broke-Ass need more than anything?

A: A vacation.

Q: And what is a destination that no Broke-Ass can afford?

A: The Hamptons.

Ah, The Hamptons: The crème-de-la-crème of exclusive beach destinations.  The place where celebrities such as Christie Brinkley, Nathan Lane and Mr. & Mrs. J-Lo go to sun themselves and “rub elbows” (what a strange expression) with one another.  Now all Broke-Asses have a chance to win a free weekend in the Hamptons from the luxury sun care line, Hampton Sun.

If I won that contest I would try my hardest to “rub elbows” (something!) with Sean ‘P-Diddy’ Combs.  If I did, I think it would go something like this'

Christine:  Yo, Sean Jean, Puff Daddy, P-Diddy, Combs, how are you?  I really like your clean, crisp, white suit…. and your giant…mansion.

[Christine grabs one glass of champagne from a server…thinks about it, then grabs another]

P. Diddy: Hey C-bag. Thank you so much for accepting my invitation.  It has been years now that I have been trying to get you to come here.  You are looking amazing.  Did you lose weight?  It must seem that way because you are sporting a beautiful, deep, dark, tan.  However, something is different about you.  It must be that your skin doesn’t seem leathery like these Long Island whores I hang out with all day long.

C: Yes, you are right! I keep my skin supple and soft with Hampton Sun’s skincare/suncare line.  I use the sunless-tanner to give me this glow and I block the harmful rays of the sun with their line of sunscreens.  They moisturize and protect like no other brand.  Oh, and they make your skin smell good too.

P: Really?  I can’t smell it.

C: Move a little closer.

P: Can’t smell it.

C: Closer.

P: Can’t smell it.

C: Closer.

P: Can’t smell it.

C: Closer.

P: Can’t-

C: CLOSER!

The End.

Ok well, as you can see in that amazing bit of playwrighting '“ Hampton Sun’s products are just the best.  They truly are.  And now you can win a weekend in the Hamptons (P. Diddy and his party not included) by going to www.hamptonsuncare.com and registering.

Next week: A dialogue with Edie Bouvier Beale of Grey Gardens.