Get Your Geek on at LED Lightsaber Battle NYC

I’m drug-free these days, but if I were still hopped up on ecstasy this would be fucking awesome!

That’s not to say that you should pollute your mind and body with unknown chemicals, however. Because you shouldn’t. They’re dangerous, they’re deadly, and Nancy Reagan still wants you to just say no. This is best to be enjoyed sober, anyway. Unless you want Siths haunting you in your sleep for the rest of your days.

Here are the deets:

Urban Playground Movement NYC is hosting the geekiest of all geeky geekfests this weekend. That’s right – a lightsaber battle royale to decide who’s got the “Force” and who’s got a serious case of social dyslexia. At one time, lightsabers could be purchased from the hosts, but they’re sold out now. Waa-Waa. Which means that you’re too late – and that there are ton of fanboys (and girls) doing God knows what dressed up like a Jedi. You can still join in, though. Stop by your local Kmart or Toys “R” Us (or any other store that sells this kind of shit) to score your own illuminated phallic device. Just don’t go crazy, OK? You saw what happened to Luke Skywalker.

Some rules, straight from the Bantha’s mouth:

Swing lightly, as there will be many people swinging at once. (Put your keys in the bowl, please.)

Don’t hit people in the face. This should be pretty obvious. (And don’t chop of their hands either, idiot.)

Goggles are stylish and a good way to protect your eyes! (Goggles are never stylish, but I suppose they will reduce your chances of losing an organ by an elongated piece of plastic.)

When in doubt, tap out. (I have no idea what the hell this means.)

And there you have it: A Saturday evening filled with science-fiction, innumerable impressions of Han Solo, and a room full of people who have less sex than the Pope…

Oh, don’t go gettin’ your futuristic tunics in a bunch. I meant with adults.

LED Lightsaber Battle
Chrystie Park (F to 2nd Ave.)
Chrystie and Houston streets [Lower East Side]
Saturday, May 29
9pm
FREE