Hangover Prevention Tips

One of the benefits of graduating college is landing a job you love. However, these jobs often include responsibilities, meaning you can no longer spend half the workday hungover as shit, lying on the employee bathroom floor and praying the urge to vom will pass. And YET, the best bar deals all fall on weekdays. So for those of you with a “work ethic” and “goals,” here are some thoughts on avoiding weekday hungoverness.

1) Don’t mix tequila with anything

For some reason, mixing certain alcohols can create the hangover equivalent of nuclear fallout. The only safe rule is to commit to one particular thing. If you have wine with dinner, stick with it. If you’re doing vodka sodas, don’t switch to tequila halfway through because your roommate who loves it wants to do shots. Tequila and vodka for me is like, good morning where the hell am I. AHA, I am in my own bed, sleeping upside down.

2) Stay hydrated

TRY to remember to do this. Dehydration doesn’t sound like it would be the root of all headaches/evil, but it is. Certain bartenders might comment on your water order, and be all, sloshed already?? Umm, no, I’m trying to avoid getting to that point, so please just get me a water and stop being so HANDSOME. Thank you.

3) Just don’t… get wasted?

Hahaha!

4) Maintain sustenance

Pick bars that contain taco trucks (The Woods, Union Pool), or provide FREE unlimited cheese doodles (The Levee), tater tots (Trash Bar), or pizza (The Charleston, Alligator Lounge, Crocodile Lounge).

If this isn’t possible, then eat before and after you go out. Eating after is key, but potentially dangerous and messy. You’ll want food that requires only one utensil, or, preferably, no utensils at all. Also food that is microwavable, because you will be WASTED when making it and therefore more susceptible to food preparation-related injury. Do not plan on deep frying a turkey as your post-drinking snack. And don’t go to White Castle! Just… trust me.

5) Get a minimum four hours of sleep

I have found that four hours is the absolute minimum time you must be in a sleep/food coma in order for the benefits to take effect. You won’t exactly feel perky the next day, but you’ll be functional, and really, that’s all we’re aiming for here.

If it’s already too late, and you’re at work right now ruing the day some hateful, remorseless person at Matchless deemed Thursdays “Ladies Night,” well, then, here we are. Bleary-eyed. Hating life in general. The only option now is damage control, so try one or all of our hangover cures (my favorite – “Just keep on drinkin”). Sixty percent of the time they work, EVERY time.