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Getting Your Crap Home from the Red Hook Ikea

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The only problem with furnishing your entire apartment with stuff from the Ikea – apart from the fact that when you move and take apart your furniture you will definitely lose 30% of the screws and bolts necessary to put these items back together, and will need to go back to Ikea, which is the most dreaded thing in the world – OTHERWISE, the major con of the Ikea route is finding an inexpensive way to transport the stuff home.

Ikea delivery is sort of a joke, because it’s a minimum of $69, even if all you want is one little desk and some novelty ice cube trays. Renting a small Uhual is a potentially cheaper option, as it is less than $20 for the day plus mileage and gas, but I usually cave and get the insurance, which adds $18, and puts you dangerously close to a total cost of $60-$70. Also, then you have to drive a Uhaul, which I find slightly terrifying.

So I would like to introduce a third option, which is: a GYPSY cab. Did anyone else know about this?? I recently bought a TV stand, bed frame, and three full bags of Ikea junk, including a package of frozen meatballs, and all of this easily fit into the trunk of a gypsy cab with some rope around the back to keep it from spilling out all over the BQE. The cost of this cab from Red Hook to Greenpoint was… $31! If you are on an Ikea trip with a friend, that is only approx $18 per person after tip. AND, utilizing this option, the cab driver also helps load and unload everything, which is nice.

Now all you have to do is assemble all of your furniture with the help of that cartoon handyperson of ambiguous gender. Following this assembly, if you have like 20-30 screws left over (not a good sign), I would wrap those in a small plastic bag and tape them to a non-visible area on the item. Just… in case.

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Katy B. - Economic Inexpert

Katy B. - Economic Inexpert

Katy B. grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan, the home of Gerald R. Ford, Andy Richter, and, at one point, the guy who wrote Mr. Holland's Opus. She moved to NYC for her degree in library science, and is now in the Media Studies program at The New School. She hopes to one day be a film studies librarian. Ask her anything about Dewey Decimal – anything! – and she will roll her eyes because academic libraries use Library of Congress. Durrr.