Broke-Ass Guide to Road Trippin’

Having just embarked on a road trip of epic proportions (San Francisco, to Vegas, to LA and back again in three days flat) I have gleaned a few tricks of life on the open road.  I would like to share them with you.  Here.  Now.  Go.

Breakfast of the Continent
Here is a hypothetical story for you: On your first pit stop since you left your starting point at 5:00 AM you are hungry for something the Mega Mini Mart Gas Station cannot supply.  You are hungry for a bagel.  No other food source can satiate your road-craving and your new smartphone’s map feature has failed (you will later come to realize that the GPS is not turned on, you techno-neophyte!!).

As you pull out of the parking lot, you notice a gleaming sign of hope and happiness across the way, calling out your new favorite words: FREE Continental Breakfast!!!  It is slightly implied that said breakfast is meant for guests of the hotel, but with a little strategic parking and entrance through the back, you will soon be on your way to a tasty, FREE meal.

The More the Merrier/Cheaper
This is obvious, but the more people you can fit comfortably in the car, the better.  The allure of the road trip vs. air travel, besides the super fun road trip times, is the cheapness.  The cheapness only happens if the gas is split more than two ways.  Do the math (because I still can’t figure out how to use my phone calculator)!

Books on Tape/Podcasts
This can be both the saving grace and the downfall of the trip.  A good specimen will hype you up and keep you laughing across the desert/mountains/plains.  A bad broadcast will put you to sleep and endanger your lives.  Choose wisely.

Snax
The choice of snacks can also make or break a road trip.  Good snacks: Goldfish crackers, Sour Patch kids, Trail mix, beef jerky.  Bad snacks: anything chocolate that you won’t eat in the first five minutes because it will probably melt and end up on your ass.  Also, don’t go to Costco to stock up on road-snacks.  It seems like a good idea, but it’s not.  Nobody needs that much trail mix.

Photo from: tvguide.com