Broke Ass Porn: Friends with Benefits

Employee benefits, you creep

Before you start getting all randy, get your minds out of the gutter – I’m not talking about that “friend” who comes over at 2:30 in the morning because you have a fifth of Jack Daniels and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s you had to polish off. That territory has been worn thin by weeks of Jersey Shore episodes full of DTF references.

ANYHOW, what I’m talking about are those friends that you in a convenient positions to hook you up with generous employee discounts, comped drinks and free tickets. It’s always nice to have a friend behind the bar slipping you drinks or upgrading your well liquor to topshelf hooch, but more common practice is buddying up to a friend or two working in retail who just happens to wear the same size jeans. To date, the one time I have been able to afford shopping at Barney’s was when a personal-shopper friend of mine pretended he was giving me high roller treatment during one of their annual sales.

Of course, the Holy Grail of Friends with Benefits is dating a Flight Attendant. Think about it: not only do you get to fly standby pretty much whenever you want, there’s also a very strong chance you could find yourself joining the Mile High Club or at least swiping some beers and riding the emergency slides.

Images via: ocoee.org and consumerist