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FREE Summer Meals for All Children In New York City

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A Styrofoam tray has become an essential institution within the confines of the dirty and repulsive area of a public school we refer to as “the school cafeteria.” It is not a lunchroom as much as it is a passageway into unhealthy dieting and terrible eating habits. If memory serves me right, I believe many of my classmates opted for chocolate milk and a bag of Cheese Doodles, as opposed to that peculiar-looking chicken with that green gooey stuff beside it. (Looking back at it, I think it might have been a spoonful of steamed vegetables.)

Now that we’ve gone down memory lane, isn’t it cool that after so many years kids are still subjected to these low-grade school lunches? I honestly believe it’s a terrible thing, but if I was a broke-ass father and my broke-ass kids got out of line this summer I know where I’d send them as punishment: back to school. Public schools, pools, parks and the New York City Housing Authority are offering FREE summer meals for all children under the age of 18 until August 31st.

They will be serving breakfast and lunch Monday-Friday. There will be no requirements for registration, documentation or identification. If you’d like to find the nearest location offering these summer meals, you may call 311 or text “NYCMeals” to 877-877. You can also visit the site here for more information and a look at the calendar to get a sneak peak at the menu for each day.

Don’t worry, people. Despite my cynical memories of school lunches, there have been vast efforts put into improving these meals. Just remember that it is two FREE meals a day and think about all the money you’ll save this summer.

FREE Summer Meals for All Children
Monday-Friday until August 31st
Breakfast: 8am-9:15am, Lunch: 11am-1:15pm
Call 311 or Text “NYCMeals” to 877-877 for participating locations
[New York City]

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Enrique Grijalva - Mr. Minimum Wage

Enrique Grijalva - Mr. Minimum Wage

My father came, my mother saw...and I conquered. I encourage children to do drugs, I buy alcohol for teenagers, and I drink beer with the homeless. In my spare time, I attend art galleries for the FREE booze while rubbing elbows with modish elephants. I also hammer six-inch nails into small penises. Stuart knighted me as Broke-Ass King of New York. You've been warned.