National Lampoon’s Sandy Hurri-cation

The obvious topic is Sandy.

There’s no way around it. Everyone is gabbing about it. I’ve been glued to my computer for the past week for all sorts of disaster porn. I’ve watched flood videos, power outage time-lapses, and weird post-disaster photo shoots. Now that the worst is over, things seem like they’re on the up and up. Power may be back by Friday or Saturday (who knows you may be reading this in a toasty, well lit, Downtown apartment right now). The subways are at least running partially, and the MTA has actually made some transit free this week. It’s a small victory over those fare increases that always make you miserable. Things are slowly getting back to normal, well as normal as things can get here.

Another result of the Frankenstorm (saying it one more time can’t hurt) is that a butt-load of things have been cancelled. I myself am mourning the loss of the Lower East Side Pickle Day. As half a Jew, I was most definitely looking forward to it. However, like New York City itself we have to be resilient. Do not let the aftermath of a natural disaster that would have made an excellent Universal Studios ride ruin your weekend. The last thing anyone here needs, is another day in their apartments. So, once again, I will provide you with another May endorsed list of shit to do:

1. Drink…more.
Let’s face it the 30 rack you purchased was gone Monday afternoon. You have enough empty bottles of wine to make a recycled art installation that could sufficiently represent your ennui. Take the party outside and use this opportunity to explore bars in your immediate area. If you have power, so do they. Why not get to know the burly “regular” with the extreme jowls who is all too adamant about setting him up with your mother. Or, depending on your neighborhood, head to that pub that you always avoid and learn a little about Spanish futbol. Test out how much you remember of the language from high school. It’ll be a trip, guaranteed. You’ll also be helping the devastated local economy by buying more booze. Do your part, for America.

2. Get to know the NYC Bus System
The bus is up and running! Eh…yeah, the bus is up and running. You don’t have to ride or die by the subway. New York is full of bus routes that can often get you directly to where you want to go. Hop on the nearest bus, see where it takes you. Use a bus/limited subway service combo to add a little spice to your life. They’re not as inconvenient, slow, or late as you think sometimes. It’s a fun opportunity to actually be able to look out the window and take in your neighborhood and its surroundings. And if you end up getting off at the wrong stop, because you have no idea where you are. Then it becomes an adventure! Ammirite?

3. Subway Tunnels Shmubway Tunnels
The N and the F are currently running into Manhattan, from Queens, which is great news if you live around there (But kind of bad news…because you’re in Queens). So, Brooklynites, let’s get a-walkin’. Take advantage of the footpaths on one of the many bridges that goes from Brooklyn to Manhattan. The weather is going to be lovely this weekend, a little brisk, so that will warm you up. Plus, you can burn off all of the Hurri-calories that you ingested from your disaster supply of Entenmanns. Manhattan is not closed for business, people. Although it is a fact, that all the best places in Manhattan to chill are below 14th street, which once you get over the bridge isn’t terrible to walk to. However, at the writing of this article, there is currently no power. But just days after the wind died down things began to open up. Check it out there is a chance SOMETHING is open. You may find a new pub/restaurant/store that you like. Worse comes to worse, above 34th street or so, things become a little more first world.

One of New York’s key characteristics is its resiliency. In the aftermath of one of the worst disasters to hit the area in history, already our favorite city is beginning to bounce back. Don’t let your Oedipal Complex get the better of you. Give a big New York fuck you to Mother Nature and continue your life normally. You’ll get her back for always nagging about cleaning your room after she destroyed it with a wind storm.

Photo Credit All Movie Photo