Why Searching for a Job and Online Dating are the Exact Same Thing
Hunting for a sexytime partner and hunting for a job is the exact same thing. It takes a lot of self-evaluation, decision-making and compromise.
1) The Write Up
An online dating profile and a resume are the exact same process. You spend time writing all about yourself. The things you know, the things you did, where you went to school, and what you’re doing now. Lots of embellishments, re-writing, and feelings of uncertainty about what you are revealing to the world. After you smashed your entire self onto a page or two you send it out to the masses for judgement. You hope it appeals to the hot girl or the hot company and that their interests are piqued enough to send you a message.
2) The Invitation
3) The Meet Up
4) Round Two
You get dressed up again. The next step is to meet the team/best friends. Their decisions and scrutinous eye will influence your fate. Do they think you’re witty or dumb? You are judged by the original crew and you try to convince them you won’t drag the the team down. There’s always that one weird person on the team. How many times have you “met the friends” and you already dislike one of them, but you want that job/person and so you pretend that their jokes are funny.
5) The Decision
You are in!! Plan out your morning commute to and from the job or girlfriend and load up your Clipper Card. Or you got rejected. “Thank you for your interest but we decided to go with another candidate that better fits our needs”. “I’m really busy this month. Sorry I can’t hang out.” That’s okay…you saw a better job on LinkedIn you wanted to try out. It pays more and is closer to work. He wasn’t cute enough to trek to Oakland, anyway.
OKCupid and Indeed should merge and then we can get matched with jobs and companies that fit our needs. You and Twacebootter are a 85% Match!!!