Why April 23rd Is Going To Be The Best Day Ever

Sexy, sexy books.

Most people I know either love or hate Valentine’s Day. I myself am on the fence. On one hand, celebrating it kind of equates to succumbing to our Overlords of Greeting Cards. On the other hand, it’s an excuse to hug all your friends and to potentially find someone to do the horizontal hokey pokey with (sorry mom). Either way, I have found the perfect solution.

How?

Well, pretty much since it became part of Spain, Catalonia has been fighting to maintain its cultural identity and to gain independence.  Don’t worry, this article is still about getting your groove on. What? Politics don’t turn you on?

ANYWAYS…Due to this, and as one might expect, if there is a choice between a Catalan version of a Spanish (or even global) holiday, the Catalans will obviously pick their own.

 Introducing Saint George’s day, April 23rd.

Photo Credit: Paul Smith

This is a holiday which is actually celebrated in many, many countries, ranging from England to Iraq (also, the boy Scouts are all about it, apparently). As the story goes, a dragon terrorizes a village somewhere in Medieval-landia, devours a bunch of poor people (nobody cares), is suddenly is on the verge of devouring a princess (everyone cares), when Saint George valiantly rides in and kills the dragon. From the dragon’s blood grows a single rose, which he picks and gives to the presumably shell-shocked princess, because sex.

Saint George, or Sant Jordi in Catalan, is the region’s patron saint. In Catalonia, they celebrate him with what is basically a way better version of Valentine’s Day.  (Also, by seemingly naming every child ever born, ever, Jordi).

On Sant Jordi, two gifts are exchanged. Traditionally, the girl gets one and the boy gets the other, but since you are San Francisco and you are gender-bendingly awesome, I won’t even bother to tell you which one is which.

 1. A Rose:

• Why?
  • READ THE STORY DAMNIT.
• Where?
  • A great way to acquire roses for FREE is to make the rounds in local flower shops and to ask whether they have any unsellable flowers they can give you – by the end of the day, they usually do. (Thanks [Freespace] for the awesome idea!). The roses won’t usually look too pathetic, which is a plus, and even if they do…there’s always pity sex!
  • OR, do you like to make things? You can make roses from soda cans, paper, and pretty much anything, really. If you wanna go full out San Francisco, you can even make rainbow roses. Hell, throw some glitter on them, that always makes things better.
  • OR, perhaps you are insanely, wildly, fantastically rich, and can afford to spend ten dollars on some flowers. In that case, there’s always the San Francisco Flower Mart.
  • OR, steal them from a bride/groom at City Hall. You know you were thinking it too.

Unless of course they have allergies, in which case this versatile holiday can also spell your enemy’s doom!

 2. A Book

•  Why?
  • If you were as literate and cultured as I often pretend to be, you would know that Shakespeare, Cervantes, and Inca Garcilaso all died or were buried on April 23^rd, coincidentally. This is also known as International Book Day!
  • Because books are DAMN sexy.
• Where?
  • Some of my favorite used bookstores in SF are Green Apple Books, Dog Eared Books, Aardvark Books, Kayo Books, and of course City Lights. If you don’t live in SF? Sucks for you, brah (and for me too, I suppose).

 LONGER PROJECTS:

Are you the kind of dangerous lunatic who thinks outside the box? You can re-imagine the rose idea by making rose liqueur, and the book idea by hand binding a journal, for example.

Yes, OK, so this holiday comes from the Catholic Church and has probably left death and destruction in its wake (which is only slightly better than a Hallmark holiday). However, the most important thing to remember is that, a) it’s about a dragon which is just cool (and you know it), and b) it’s a chance to give your loved ones a flower or a book.

Some other creative solutions to celebrate the holiday without actually having to love anyone are:

1. Deflowering a virgin, and

2. Throwing the book at someone.

Some photo credits (but not all) to Rae Bathgate herself, some of which were absolutely not taken with her Iphone.